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My husband reunited me and my birthmother (and consequently my birthsiblings) one year ago. It was extremely joyful for all parties involved and we all wanted close relationships with each other. I traveled across two states to visit them TWICE (16 hr drive!) - Once for Christmas, and again in June to visit with my birth-sister's new baby boy. In these relationships, I make all the phone calls because I know that they are not in a good financial situation at ALL - and I don't want them to be burdened with a large phone bill. After my last visit, in June of this year, I thought I would hear from them- that they might call me and say, "thanks for visiting" or for the baby gifts, or SOMETHING. I've heard nothing. I thought of calling them... but, call me stubborn, I have done most of the legwork in this relationship, and felt like it was their turn to contact me... I HOPE THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A STUBBORN OLD MULE! That is not my intention... I hope you understand where I am coming from. Anyhow, I knew my birthday was coming up, which would be the first one I'd had since we were reunited and knew I'd at least hear from them then. And then - my birthday came and went without so much as a call or a card or anything FROM ANYBODY. I don't really know how to feel about this. Disappointed? Sure. Sad? I don't know. What do you think? I don't know what the next step is. We pay for a cell phone for my birthsister... I've only received three calls from it in 9 months... should I turn it off? My birthmother's birthday is in October... what then? ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED... Thanks...
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I'm seeing a lot of "red flags" in your story. You are paying for and providing a phone to your bsister and she doesn't even us it to call you?! It is not your responsibility to provide your bfamily with anything. They can't even write you a thank you note for baby gifts or a phone call or card on your birthday? It sounds to me as if you are being taken advantage of. True families do not take advantagae of eachother, whether they are blood related or not - that' just wrong.
It seems to me that it's time for you to make some decisions about the relationship. Is there someone close to you that you can confide about this? It's hard to have a clear vision of what's going on when you're in the middle of the situation. Sometimes it's better to get some opinions from people close to you that you trust.
Good luck. I'm sorry you are going through this. By the way, I'd like to wish you a belated happy birthday.
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Kimberly is right. There are "red flags" in your relationship. I think you should scale back. Stop paying for the phone. Send your b-mom a birthday card with a short, general written note in it. Do not suggest visiting at Christmas. Wait for a response from them.My guess is that you WILL hear from your birthsister when the phone goes dead. Just tell her very neutrally that you thought she did not use it much and might want to get one from a different carrier.Be pleasant, but casual. Don't give the impression that they are the "center of your life". After all, as the song goes -- "I got along without ya before I met ya. Gonna get along without ya now." It is their turn to reach out -- even financially pinched people can afford a stamp!