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OK: a vent, a question and a warning :)
:eek: Yikes, just discovered my 12 year old (!) was on some porn sites online. I REALLY had hoped I had another year or two before I had to start dealing with sex "stuff" (I know, fantasy land!). Sooo, we had a little chat about the fact that I did not think, and do not want him to think that sex is bad, dirty, nasty, etc., but that I feel that I want to be a little more in control of their exposure to it and an internet site was not where I wanted them to learn it from and that it is completely inappropriate for a 12 y.o.!
Then I immediately went and activated the Windows Parental Controls on the boys' computer. It seems like it works pretty well. I am wondering if anyone has any feedback about any other parental control software?
I am posting this to maybe help someone else. If anyone else was lax like me :) I kept thinking: "Yeah, I need to get around to putting parental controls/blocking on the boys computer..." and never did. And their computer is in their room (I know, I know), so my advice is: DO IT NOW! My boys are both 12 and essentially good kids and we have good communication, but I wish I could have prevented this from happening :( One part was that we have a 15 y.o. boy who lives in our house who was/is pretty into internet porn, who exposed my sons to it several months ago. We had several discussions about it then and I thought that was the end of it... apparently not!
Anyway, I am open to hearing what others think...
so I google-searched her name, ONLY HER NAME and a slew of pornographic pictures popped up.
Interesting...Google doesn't participate in or allow pop-ups on their site...
Also, unless you're signed into your account and have altered the search settings to allow for pornagraphic material...the default for all Google Searches is: Use moderate filtering (Filter explicit images only - default behavior)
I wanted to see what you were talking about...so I too did a quick search....I could not duplicate what you're reporting, no matter HOW hard I tried (and I'm fairly good with Google). Even with filtering turned off, I still couldn't get any pornographic pictures to come up...Google is really pretty decent like that.
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It is very easy to delete the history on a computer.. as is cookies.. It may be a possibility they could be deleting where they don't want you to know where they've been.
As far as the google thing. I've had that happen too. I don't remember ever being prompted to choose a filter. I had gotten a bite on my foot(looked kinda bad..) We've had an issue with ants.. so i searched ant bites under google images... a bunch of naked women came up. Thats not the first time stuff like that had come up on google either.. my boyfriend thought it was hilarious, but at least he finally told me about the filter...
Searching Google images is much different. Also, it can only go by what is reported to be explicit - so random pictures posted in various sites not rated explicit don't get filtered.
But, we weren't talking a search of Google Images to find the next airing date for a show...
BrandyHagz
I wanted to see what you were talking about...so I too did a quick search....I could not duplicate what you're reporting, no matter HOW hard I tried (and I'm fairly good with Google). Even with filtering turned off, I still couldn't get any pornographic pictures to come up...Google is really pretty decent like that.
I think it might be boiling down to what each persons definition of pornographic is. I can see 3 initial image results for Kim K in my basic google search (without actually going into "images"), what I might call tacky...maybe tasteless but not pornographic. Others might just view it differently I guess.
Good grief Brandy...
Is it really that hard to let people say what they want to say without trying to prove them wrong..
Anyway, sorry to everyone else for the off topic remark...
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Not trying to prove anyone wrong...just offering a different perspective from someone with a bit of Google knowledge.
:)
Sorry you're taking my post as...well...the need to 'prove them wrong'...(Although, Tazer WAS wrong and for more information on that, you can visit the Community Directors forum for information on how to spot a troll)
A few posts back someone shared their perspective on not having computers in children's rooms. I just went through a decision on this with my 11 year old for when we move to a new home soon. I was ready to have him move his computer and desk to his room from our study. As another mom shared, I also have a very open relationship with my children and when we set controls on his computer, we explained why and he said, "good -- then I don't have to worry about any of that gross stuff!" (I hope that lasts a little longer!) Still, I know that pre-teens and teens can get inquisitive and I also will continue our conversations on why I feel that pornography is exploitive, mysogynist, etc., as he becomes more mature (age appropriate).
Now here's the interesting part. . . my oldest dd is 22 and when she heard that I had decided for our ds to have his computer in his room, she told me not to do it, that I was just inviting problems. She said that both I'd have less control of what her brother was doing on the computer, but how much time as well. She reminded me that since I expect our children to not be "plugged in" all day to electronics, why set him up for more issues? It just warmed my heart that my dd really "got it" and as a young woman who is much closer to his age, she gave me good advice. His computer will stay in our study when we move now! Gotta love it. susan
I remember a few years ago, a man I was dating told me how his kids went online and started typing in addresses using Disney characters, etc: www. snow white, cinderella, etc. and up popped all of these porn sites! :eek:
After reading the posts regarding the Google images search, etc., I am even happier that the parental control software I am using restricts content, not just words or addresses. So no page will be allowed to come up that has nudity or sexual content.
Just another reason (like I really needed anything else!) to block; I just found out that the most probable culprit of the viruses that shut my sons' computer down recently (causing me to spend hours researching, downloading anti malware, spyware, etc., programs, scanning and cleaning their system) was the porn site/s! Grrrr!
I am now taking away their wireless card at certain times, so I have even more control over their internet time. Their monitor faces the door, so it is very easy for myself or my dad to cruise past regularly and see what they are up to (if they were able to find a way to circumvent the parental controls).
Just a little humerous aside: thank goodness my one son doesn't spell very well and left one of the t's off of "butt" so he was unable to get to bubblebutts.com!
If I don't laugh I may cry!
My son does not have a computer in his room. The computer is in my room. I too have a great open relationship with my son - but they are kids and are curious!
He is not allowed on the computer if we are not home and in the room with him. Last school year, my mother in law would pick him up from school and take him home. He'd be home alone for about 1 hour before my DH got home. My son had proven himself mature enough and we trusted him for that one hour. One night, I went to the computer and moved the mouse and up pops the most graphic picture I had ever seen!! My husband jumps out of bed. I couldn't even speak I was so shocked! My DH went and woke my son up and spoke to him. He had privilages removed and we put a lock on my door.
He claims he was on a game site and he clicked on something that took him to this site. I too had filters etc on my computer. You just never know!!
THEN - if your kids have internet on their phones, there are no filters to keep them from seeing this stuff!!! I went to a class where a detective spoke to us about internet safety. He is an LAPD detective that works specifically on catching internet predators. What he said scared the you know what out of me!! He was the one who warned us about internet on the phones!! My son got a picture text from he says a friend of a naked girl. Again - his phone was taken away.
It's so hard dealing with this stuff. We just hope that they listen to us when we have our "talks" about how degrading this stuff is. I do however understand the curiosity. When I was in the 6th grade, my friends and I looked at a playboy. I of course was the only one who got caught.
I understand when you say "if you don't laugh, you'd cry" cause that's how I feel sometimes.
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I had a very open relationship with my parents, but let me tell you, sex was not something I would go to them to discuss. I think it's great that so many have such open relationships with their kids, but please remember that peers are often their whole world in the teen years, and talking to Dad or Mom about such sensitive issues can be many a kid's nightmare scenario...JMO
buttascotchbaby
Just a little humerous aside: thank goodness my one son doesn't spell very well and left one of the t's off of "butt" so he was unable to get to bubblebutts.com!
If I don't laugh I may cry!
You are too funny! :love:
sbaglio
I had a very open relationship with my parents, but let me tell you, sex was not something I would go to them to discuss. I think it's great that so many have such open relationships with their kids, but please remember that peers are often their whole world in the teen years, and talking to Dad or Mom about such sensitive issues can be many a kid's nightmare scenario...JMO
:(.....I know you are right...
I have a brother that my son thinks is "cool" so they talk...It's so hard to see your babies grow up :(
I know what you're saying, but yet, I think if the talks have started before the child enters their teens, then it's not as much of a nightmare, just more of same story, second verse...with more info.
When I was a teen, I honestly just wasn't interested in sex or boys. I was labled gay, even though I am straight as an arrow...I just didn't care about dating. We had had the sex discussion a few times, but even though I was grateful for the information, I knew it wasn't something I was ready for.
Of course, it wasn't such an issue like it is now, and most of us my age were JUST being allowed to hold hands at 13, not 5 and 6 like I've seen now a days.
I had basketball, art, volunteer activities, etc. taking up my time.
When I did become "interested", I had just turned 20 and met a man I REALLY liked (who is my husband of 13 years now), and you know what, when I did get curious, I asked my mom.
sbaglio
I had a very open relationship with my parents, but let me tell you, sex was not something I would go to them to discuss. I think it's great that so many have such open relationships with their kids, but please remember that peers are often their whole world in the teen years, and talking to Dad or Mom about such sensitive issues can be many a kid's nightmare scenario...JMO
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You could try K9 protection. Free through a download on the internet. K9 Web Protection - Free Internet Filtering and Parental Controls Software
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Last update on June 21, 8:43 am by megera39.
I've been using friendly family dns. Works for blocking unwanted content
Last update on June 21, 8:43 am by megera39.