4 year old humping 3 year old?

Good for you on the counseling. When the kids do things that bring up emotions that we need to deal with, then we need to deal with them. It sounds like you are reading and talking to people to find the best solutions you can to help her and to help yourself. I think if people are really honest with themselves, all of these things that others do that we are supposed to just accept, if we really have a hard time accepting it, then we need to deal with that. I think this will end up helping both of you tremendously. Keep doing a good job, and just keep trying to find the best way to deal with the situation.