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I currently have another thread in a different part of this forum but I think my question better fits here.
Basically, I just found out that my amom knew my bmom but for some reason lost contact with bmom a long time ago. My amom knew my bmom's name and everything, but she never told me.
She said by law she wasn't able to disclose that information, but that doesn't seem right to me. Especially after I turned 18!
Is she correct? It doesn't make sense that she couldn't tell me her name when she knew it herself. :hissy:
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No, she is not correct. People often misread the law to mean that, however. State law regarding the disclosure of adoption information applies only to the professionals involved as well as the state. So, the state couldn't disclose the info, until a certain age or not at all, depending on the laws in your state.Same with professionals.It would not be against any law to disclose the information between adults...but as I said, it is often misunderstood and not uncommon for adults to think that.I can see how your mom might think that...but still, where is the compassion?
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This truly is sad to hear, I can tell this has hurt you deeply. Your Mom and you need to sit down and have a heart to heart, as parents we try to teach our children trust, and honesty. She has simply forgotten this is a two -way street. Show her how much this has hurt you and let her know that if she taught you anything, it was the act of honesty and being truthful. She had "NO LAW" to back her up, on keeping this info from you. I would have to wonder why she felt insecure enough to not be honest. I would ask what issues came up that made her "lose"contact with your Firstmom? While letting her know this is hurting you, you might remember to also let her know how much you love her and she will "always 'be your mom! Just a few suggestions...I am a Firstmom in the triad, so I can not answer for your mom....:grouphug:
This is truely a touching story. However, I have a legal question about unadoption. Does anyone have any information about legally removing my adad from my life. As an adult male with biological children of my own it may sound childish, however, I still wonder if there is anyway to remove a deadbeat adad from my life???