Advertisements
Advertisements
Hi - I am newly registered on this forum and therefore may fall foul of the forum rules and restrictions etc. This is a genuine situation and I am posting here in the very best interests of the baby.
Very briefly:
I am a British man, living permanently in Thailand since 2002. Whilst in Thailand I legally married a Thai lady who already had a young daughter. We had 1 son together who is now 3 years old.
Unfortunately, this Thai lady suffers very badly from Bipolar Disorder (manic-depressive illness). This illness has caused her to be committed to a psychiatric hospital on several occasions, primarily for her own safety because her manic 'highs' cause her to exhibit very wild/dangerous behaviour. She rarely takes her medication and her very rural family are unable to comprehend her illness, (mental health care is very bad in Thailand unless you have lots of money!).
As a result of her illness, our natural son has spent all his life in the loving care of an aunt in Bangkok because my (now ex) wife is totally unable to care for him and puts him at resk due to her behaviour. We both visit him on regular occasions and she is very happy with the 'foster-mother' arrangements.
Some 8 months ago, during a manic episode, the Thai lady became pregnant by a Thai man. He has 'fled the scene', leaving her and myself to deal with the situation. As a result of her pregnancy and the very negative prognosis of her illness, I am no longer married to her. However, I still live with her, we remain friends and I ensure that the 'damage' caused by her manic attacks is minimal.
(Please do not condemn me for this divorce. Only those people who have endured a similar situation can begin to understand the stress on a Bipolar Disorder carer).
My ex-partner is now 8 months pregnant with this baby girl, and all hospital checks indicate that it is a healthy pregnancy. Because she is unable to care for the baby, the only option available to us was to ask her mother to look after the baby. However, her mother is almost 60 and 'tired' from performing this task for other mothers in the village who have previously abandoned their babies.
Although Bipolar Disorder can be inherited, neither of her other 2 children, nor her parents show any sign of this illness. One aunt suffers from the same illness.
So, the thought struck us that we might be able to find a couple who are seeking to adopt a newborn, hopefully-healthy Thai baby girl. My ex-partner has no interest in any maternal claim to this baby, but she would like to receive news/photos etc as she grows up.
This baby girl would automatically have a Thai passport (because her mother is Thai). Although I am not the natural father, my ex-partner, myself and the doctors in the private hospital have agreed that a possible good option is to name myself as the father on the birth certifcate. I believe that this will make a private adoption in the US or UK a much easier process.
I want to stress that the mother seeks no financial reward in this matter, but assistance towards the cost of her forthcoming caesarian operation (about 1,000 pounds) and any legal documentation that might be required is appreciated.
So there you have it. A rather sad situation for both the mother and myself. However, we both agree that this innocent newborn should be given the best start in life. Having lived in Thailand for 6 years, and knowing the medical problems of the mother, this really seems to be the best option - if it is legally possible.
That last point is very important. I have no idea of the legality of such a proposal, and I would appreciate advice from more experienced forum members.
Thanks
ThaiBrit