Pregnant-Birth Mother wants to be called "Nana"

Why on earth would you be wrong? It is what it is! You can only do what makes you comfortable. It isn't your responsibility to make sure she is ok with your parenting choices...you're the mom, you make the decisions.She needs to respect your role and while she may have her feelings hurt, thats ok too...you can't make your life's decisions based on how others will feel. Own it. Live it. Move on.

Of course in "Nancy's" eyes, you're wrong. But, like Brandy said, it is what it is...to you, she is Nancy, and just because she is your birth mother, your relationship is not on the level of mother/daughter by your own admission, so how CAN she expect you to just automatically put her in a grandparent's role and title? I also say kudos to your mom for supporting you through this...I don't know how I'd feel if my kids, K&K, had their birth mother in the picture in this type of situation, except I know I'd want to be the #1 Grandma! haha I mean, I'm not discounting the roles of birth family, so please don't get me wrong...it's just that she is wanting to bypass her dynamic she should be working on with you FIRST before being expected to be the title she is asking for now...if that makes sense.

I totally agree with the other 2 posters. You simply do not have a mother/daughter relationship with her, and it was inappropriate for her to assume the role of grandmother.

Its a really tough one for you I am sure, and I suppose I would say that I would just be open to the idea down the road. Those multi-generational relationships are often MUCH easier than the first generation relationships. My parents divorced and my dad remarried shortly after I got married. When I was expecting my first child my mother threw a fit about my dad's new wife (who I was reasonably friendly with but not super close) being called anything "grandparently". Anyways, I talked to dad's wife and said that the name "Grandma" was taken by my mom, but if she could pick an appropriate pet name - she chose Nana. For me, its a matter of respect - my kids call close family friends by Aunty/uncle etc. They were going to be seeing my dad's wife every couple months and she should have a title of respect. And, really, I saw that she would or could have an important role in my kids lives. Today, my kids are ages 7 - 13 and they adore their Nana and are quite close to her. Their relationship is easy and provides them both lots of satisfaction. They really dont care one bit that they have "extra" grandparents or who my parents really are or anything. They love the people who invest in their lives. Kids cant be loved by too many people, nor can they love too many people. Are you able to compromise - even if for the sake of yoru child and not your birth mom, on some sort of appropriate title that you WOULD be comfortable with to agknowledge the reality that your child IS the grandchild of your birthmom, even if she isnt your mom? Would you rather they not have any relationship at all? Will you explain, at some point, what the relationship is with Nancy? All things to think about ... and trust me times passes much sooner than you can imagine :) Good luck and congrats on your new baby.

All of the posts make sense. I actually got a call from "Nancy" last night and she seemed okay w/being called by only her first name. You're right, life is too short to make decisions based on others feelings and opinions. My mom earned the title "Nonni" and no one deserves to take that away from here or make her feel less important. Thanks again everyone!