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This is a subject close to my heart. I was 42 when E was born. To be honest, the two years prior to that really aged me because of a lot of stressful things happening to me including the adoption process which for us was pretty harsh.
At odd times, it hits me that I'm older than the other moms at play groups. I'm always thrilled to talk to women in their mid thirties! I consider them my peers. But when I do the math I get pretty scared. Wonder if I was being selfish etc. And this is what I think now:
1. Age is a number.
2. E's birth mother picked us knowing or ages. She very well may have picked another set of parents our age. This is what SHE wanted for him.
3. I am inspired to take great care of myself and plan on living a long long time for him (and for me!)
4. He has very very patient, loving and emotionally mature parents. We have the sense and "stillness" to love him in a very solid, consistent way that is definitely related to this maturity.
5. He has a great quality of life. He is so happy to be with us and couldn't care less how old we are.
6. We offer all the perks of the loving sweet grandparents and the parents. How can that be a bad thing?
I don't know. It comes and goes in waves but he's so well loved and taken care of in the end that's all that matters. I only wish some of the stress of the prior two years was less. I'd probably score ten years lower on a real age test!