OMG Contact must read for my OLD Friends

So cool!!!!

It is wonderful that you have found your son. One more bmom whose pray has been answered. If an adoptive parent were to use this term when speaking of a birthparent (and I am one) I would be extremely angry and rightly so. No one side can demand respect and courtesy from other sides of the triad if they are not willing to give the same in return. And knowing Jackie for as long as I have, I know she would agree with me. Respectfully,

Hmmm...you took something so beautiful and turned it into a negative. I can honestly say I am shaking because I am so MAD. I have been a member of this board for 7 LONG years. I see you have been around maybe a year. Though I don't post much I have seen some wonderful amazing birthmothers come and go on this board as many boards experience change over time. Still I come back now and then to say hello. My biggest pet peave of this board has always been the fact that adoptive parents invade the only place in 14.5 yrs that I have felt safe to express my raw unsensored emotions that come w/ being a birth parent. Your comming on to this thread being negative to something that you have no clue about proves that some things never change. I am honest and I speak the TRUTH and the Facts. 1. I didn't get the contact in the open adoption that was promised to me because the Aparents had issues meaning they divorced about the time my contact ended when my son was 1.5 yrs old. One day I was so desperate for picture that were promised that I sent a toss away camera to them w/ a returned stamped envelope. I said take a couple pics and send the cam back to me. About 10 days latter I recieved the package back w/ a stamp that said "Moved No Forwarding Address". I can honestly say that I stopped breathing. My life went darker and I stopped trusting everything in life. How could I trust anything when the one "right" thing I did in life made me feel so SICK. As an adoptive parent you are given a gift and w/ that you will never know my side...so don't for a second tell me to respect my Amom when her actions turned my life upside down. I know I know now you'll say I was the dumb teen age girl who did this. NO I was the smart teen age girl who ripped her own heart out to give her child a better life and a life that the Adoptive parents promised me my son would have. That included contact! 2. FACT When my son was almost 11 yrs old I got a call late one night from some strange guy saying he found me doing a random internet search for the Amom. I had put the Amom and dad's full names in a thread I posted here and it came up along w/ my full name. SO he found my number and called me. That man was the former best friend of the Adad. Former because the Amom and him had an affair and she soon left the adad and lived w/ him. This man expressed his addiction issues and also said he was like my son's dad for the about 3 yrs. He emailed me two old pics and a pic of himself. OMG...the dude was scarry looking. I won't waste my time post the pic here. He did do one thing...He gave me the name of the Amom's sister. I found her and wrote her a letter. She called me and we chatted. I'll never forget the moment she herself said that she was SHOCKED the adoption went through because at the time the Adad had pending drug charges. AGAIN I became SICK. She went on to tell me about the divorce and the isues the adoptive parents had including the fact that she didn't trust her own sister due to stealing and drug problems. Since then I have had minimal contact w/ her and she has let me know things now and then. One day about 2.5yrs ago I sent her an email after a really bad dream. I said I just felt the ccl's like was in chaos. She emailed me back saying it was and she knew ccl and I were totally connected. That email included a recent pic. My first pic in yrs. Its was such a wonderful/tragic moment. I didn't like hearing my lil man's life was in chaos. So you see I was direct in saying my son's aoptive mom is a druggy whore because those are the fact that I know. I never once said ALL adoptive parents are druggy whores as in the past I have made blanket statements. For you to come to my AMAZING thread w/ ignorance is something I can't accept. You don't know me or my story. I never once attacked you! Still w/ ignorance you chose to make me once again realize that birthmothers will never have a safe place to share raw emotions or even beautiful events. Please from now on don't post on my threads! Loveccl

Loveccl, Please read Janeytwos comments again. Janey is a birth mother who has contributed greatly to these forums in the time that she has been a member. If you search her posts you will see that she fights to end birth parent stereotypes. One of the things we see here a lot on several of the forums are statements like, ғdrug using whore when applied to first parents. I canԒt speak for Janey, but I believe she was pointing out that respect is two-fold and even if there is truth to a statement, some things may be better left unsaid. Congratulations on reconnecting with your son. You must be very excited. Please dont let a misunderstanding ruin your wonderful news.

I've edited the original post and deleted all responses to the original comment. Regardless of length of membership - you MUST follow our rules. We will NOT tolerate name calling, at all. Period. If there is an issue, please feel free to PM me.

Wow, I'm thrilled for you to have had contact with your son!!! I hope it turns out that you can have a good relationship too. I'm sorry that his adoptive mom is that kind of person. I know what you feel though about it. When my daughter was adopted, her parents were absolute nut cases! I'm sure you've read me talking about this enough since you've been here so long. I didn't know that detail at the time about the adoptive parents because it was a closed adoption as you know, and I didn't have anything to do with the choice of her parents. But her adoptive dad had been in jail the weekend before my daughter was adopted. These people had both been married before and had children in those marriages they brought into the relationship but because the adoptive mom just HAD to have a "girl" baby because she was sick of "boy" babies. It's the ONLY reason they applied for adoption and yet they STILL gave my daughter to these crazy people.These people were divorced when my daughter was 9 or 10 and was because the adoptive mom cheated on her husband and went and shacked up with some guy for awhile who she then left and found some other guy eventually who she stayed with. So, that's 4 relationships/marriages for this woman and she is STILL considered "the salt of the earth" because she hasn't stuck around in the places she has done the things she's done so no one KNOWS what she is really like. Or who she REALLY is. I've been unfortunate enough to know her and her horrible ways first hand and how she's abused and CONTINUNING to abuse my daughter. So, in reference to MY daughter's adoptive parents as I said they are whack jobs and unfit to have ever raised any child even a biological child! They don't deserve anyone's respect they especially don't deserve MY respect! I'm just glad that your son wrote you and you are going to be able to have the abilbity to develope something with him. It's so wonderful. And you DON'T have to respect his adoptive mom or dad! I'm with you on that one! Again CONGRATULATIONS on the contact. :)Rylee

Rylee, I've edited your post to remove comments related to deleted content. If we can't move past the issue, I'd be happy to close the thread.

Brandy, Just popping in to say thanks for editing. Much appreciated. Have a better one! :-)