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i've heard positives about both routes - would love to hear more -
should we start by going through CPS? or w/an agency?
agency tells me that CPS workers change a lot, thus slowing the process. yet i've read on a post, that CPS was the faster route?!
If you adopt through CPS, there will pretty much be a guarantee your child will have been through trauma which will need to be dealt with. Then again, some adoption themselves (even infant) are traumatizing enough.
There is no best way, only a way that you feel is best for you. Before adopting from CPS, please go read all you can on the special needs board. Do research on how early neglect affects brain development and bonding. Make sure you're well read on FASD. Then decide what age is too old to consider being a parent to and consider how much of the process of finding your child do you want to do personally.
We started out with a private agency, got matched with a little girl who was almost 4 and was involved in an open CPS investigation and it ended up going private and using just an attorney.
The bonus of CPS included state funding for therapy and stuff...but you had more hoops to jump through and more government control. The agency had less hoops, but in the end the polacement was too high risk and we just used an attorney and made our own rules according to what us and the birth family needed. We had no support financially, but we got to be fully in charge of how it all happened and at what pace.
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I agree with pp....also good CPS experiences happen in counties where the CPS process they have is followed and it is considered a "good county". (not to be confused with perfect, remember it still is a system)
Some counties/DCFS/CPS aren't good, so do your homework on where you live...do your homework on possible agencies and then do what is best for you.
I adopted through CPS/foster care and the experience was looong and pretty terrible :) but the end result was worth it and I would do it again. My kids were placed with me at 4 and 9 y.o. At that time I had no intention of adopting them, or of even adopting "older kids". It all worked out the way it was supposed to but it took 3 years. I always say: fostering is not for the faint hearted! But it is worth it :) My kids have relatively minor behavior issues (adjustment, etc.) and many of them are not different than what my bio son has, not neccessarily tied into being foster kids.
I agree with a PP who stated that you need to be sure and clear as to what you and your wife are willing and able to take. I am happy that my kids found me and I wouldn't change anything about them or that experience but I would like to adopt an infant next time. Until then I continue to foster a wide variety of ages.
IMO, it depends on
a) how much legal risk (that the child will be in your home, then taken out of your home and placed somewhere else) you're willing to take - this occurs more with state (CPS/DSS/DSHS) placement, depending on the county you're in, but NOT unheard of with agency placement.
b) how prepared you are to deal with a child's issues due to neglect/abuse/trauma (again, this is more with state placement, but not unheard of with agency placement, especially with a non-newborn)
c) what you envision your relationship (if you're open to open adoption) with the child's birthparent(s) to be. (Most - NOT all - adoptive parents have more reservations about a relationship with parents who had their child taken away, rather than parents who decided to make an adoption plan for their children)
d) how much you are financially willing to put on the line. State adoptions are much less expensive than most agency adoptions.
e) How soon you would like your adoption to be finalized and "done". In some states, you can finalize (the child is legally and in all other ways yours as long as both birthparents agree to the plan) within a few days through agency/private adoption. With adoption through the state, sometimes cases can take years to finalize.
Again ... only my opinions and what made the difference for me and the route we chose. Best of luck in your decision.
I used a private agency and loved it! I would highly recommend it. I used my agency three times to fost/adopt and once to do straight fostering. I had great CWs and some that were HORRIBLE, but through it all I had a great agency that was on my side and was able to intervene on my behalf when I needed it.
At least with my agency, they only accepted cases from CPS that involved chidlren with mild to moderate issues. I really appreciated this added feature.
The burnout rate for CWs is about five years. When dealing with DCF, you just have to stay on top of whomever you're working with. I know a family that was looking to adopt number two and was told by the brand new CW that was assigned to them, finding them a child to adopt was low on her totem pole due to all the active foster cases she had. The family went over this woman's head and eventually got a child. These workers are definitely overworked and sometimes I think if you're not politely in their faces, then you get lost behind all of their problem cases and paperwork.
The time you wait for a child depends on the amount of children who come into the system in your area, if you're open to race, sex, sibling groups.
Best of luck with whichever route you choose! Welcome to the rollercoaster!
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I can't tell from your question - are you planning to adopt through foster care and you are wondering about the realtive advantages of going through an FFA (foster family agency) as opposed to working directly with the county? Or are you asking about private adoption vs. fost-adopt?
If you're looking for an infant then I would suggest an agency over CPS.
CPS is not an adoption agency and you'll more than likely get your hearts broken. You'll definitely get an infant placement and it's a long uphill battle before you'd be close to adopting them in most cases.
If you're open for an older child, I highly recommend going through CPS. It's true that there is always some sort of trauma or abuse involved, but there are so many beautiful and wonderful children waiting for a loving home.
Good luck with your decision!
Daisy1339
If you're looking for an infant then I would suggest an agency over CPS.
CPS is not an adoption agency and you'll more than likely get your hearts broken. You'll definitely get an infant placement and it's a long uphill battle before you'd be close to adopting them in most cases.
If you're open for an older child, I highly recommend going through CPS. It's true that there is always some sort of trauma or abuse involved, but there are so many beautiful and wonderful children waiting for a loving home.
Good luck with your decision!
Everything in fost-adopt depends upon where you are, local demographics and how the DCFS system in your area functions. In some areas, this is perfectly true. In our area, we were able to adopt an infant and I personally know several other local families who have adopted infants through foster care as well. None of the cases were allowed to drag on for more than a year or so. But there are fost-adopt parents on this board who have had their foster children 2 - 3 years and are still waiting to see how their case will go. Some areas lean toward permanency for children and avoiding long term foster care. Other areas emphasize maintaining family ties and giving biofamilies many chances to try to regain custody of their children. Some areas (like mine) do have infants in care needing adoptive families. In other areas, this is much less true. Ask other families who have adopted or are fostering children in your area and they can give you the best information about your county/state.
As far as agencies vs. county - the county will use their own foster families first. It is easier and cheaper for them to do so. So, for that reason, you may in fact wait longer if you go through an agency. (Although this is not necessarily the case. It depends upon whether the county has an adequate number of licensed foster-adopt families for their needs.) But agencies also typically work with more than one county. Our agency worked with counties throughout the entire state of California. Our son was from another part of the state. So that works in your favor. You also get more support and hand holding with and agency. Our social worker was less over worked than most county workers and was very accessible. We really felt like she advocated for our family during the process. And we have access to services post-adoption as well. So we were happy that we went through an agency and would do so again.
we are looking ot simply adopt - not foster - and open to an "older child" - anywhere from 3-6 hopefully - race is not an issue -
we are in the Dallas area.
i'm leaning towards an agency - christian specifically - but i've just learned about the CHILD program - so wanting to learn more about that. It's through the state, but is specific to churches and smaller groups. don't know enough yet.......
do very many people just desire adoption only? and w/out contact w/the birthparents? we maybe imagining a situation that's hard to come by - but we want to provide for a child in need and love them as our own - not just looking to get a "baby" - we just feel so blessed and really burdened for all the children not able to live w/their parents - they need a stable forever home!
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We started with CPS/DFACS and stuck with them for 3 years. After much heart ache and hurt and still being at square 1 we signed on with a private agency in August, the following June we had our baby.
Things to think about:
The record of the judges in your area: the judges where I live send kids home 89% of the time. Even when the SW, CASA and others say it is not in the best interest of the child.
How long are you willing to wait?
What type of abuse are you willing to accept? A three year old we were trying to adopt through DFACS could recount in detail his abuse and relived it and acted it out on others. In the end after being with us for a year and a half the judge sent him home. Guess what he is 6 now and has been back in care for over a year.
Turn over rate of DFACS staff.
Is there a local Foster to Adopt support group. We have one in our town and it is great.
I wish you all the best in your journey.