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I really don't know where to start. I feel bad because I never come on here to be supportive I just come on here to get support. A big part of that is because I have bad internet connection. Still if I need ALL your Birthparent advice all your Wisdom and all your Support.
I have found out in the last week since my birthson's adoptive mom died that I am now living the nightmare that all Birthmothers have. I will be careful to keep things "PC" as to not offend you all. My 14.5 yr old birthson has so many issues. First I send him emails but his friends have to read them to him because he can't read. He told me he takes 2-4 showers a day. So I'm sure he has OCD. His spelling is bad and I'm sure he is dyslexic. The Aparents divorced right after his 1st birthday. That is when my promise of pics stopped. The Adad is "cop happy" my son's words and put the couples Adaughter in girls homes and Juvy 90% of 2yrs. (Again my son's words). I got an email from my contact (the Amom's sister) and she told me the night before the funeral the Adad wanted CCL to go to dinner w/ him and his wife and CCL didn't want to go. So the Adad called the cops on CCL. I have talked to CCL twice on the phone and he said that he wants to live w/ his grandparents (his amoms parents). He hates his Adad. The sister finally is telling me more that her sister is dead. She said the Adad didn't see the kids for 11 yrs because he tried to dodge child support ( he now has a 7yr old bio-daughter and new wife) When child support finally caught up to him he decided he was going for custody. At the time of the Amom's death they shared joint custody. The amom had a lawyer and who is still working for the family and trying to get CCL placed w/ the grandparents, set up social security for CCL and child support, and make sure therapy is continued. So I am living the nightmare. My lil Caelan just turned 10 months old and I never expected all this to happen. I am barely making it as Caelan's mom right now. Still I need to know if I have any rights? Is there anything I can do to get CCL or atleast help the grandparents get CCL. I don't feel CCL is safe w/ the adad. He has told me his step mom has a 29yr old son who hits him. I don't feel that the Adad see CCL as a gift anymore, but more as a financial obligation. This isn't about me and I am really trying hard not to just loose my mind. Tell me how I can help my CCL??? Tell me if I have any rights? Tell me if I can help the grandparents get custody? Tell me I will wake up and this nightmare will be over. I ripped my own heart out for nothing. My baby is hurt, I'm hurt, and there is nothing I can do to make his life better. The only thing is...he calls me "mom"
Thanks for reading my nightmare...!
Loveccl
PS...Rylee, I will pm you soon I promise!
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I am so sorry. I have no legal knowledge to help you with this troubling sequence of events. Maybe you could talk to the amom's sister, as you have been, and ask if you can aid their lawyer in any way. I think it should come out just as you said, "he no longer sees him as a gift". You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Im not sure if im in the right place to say this but if he is almost 15 cant he go to the courts and be amasipated from his dad then go to the sister for help and shelter or Grandparents? Im sorry i dont know much about it but i have heard of kids doing it. Other then that i send my love and supoort i hope something good comes from this :flower:
Well, you might want to double check this story with other people who know what's going on---sometimes kids this age exaggerate a bit. But if you're convinced that he's being abused, particularly if he's being physically abused by the stepmother's son, it's imperative that you call Social Services and report it. They'll do an investigation, talk to your birthson, and figure out what is going on. If he's in danger, they can remove him and place him with his grandparents, where he'll be safe. Please make the call if your son is in danger! It could be so important to him!
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I am so very truly saddened for your son foremost, for it was supposed to be for HIM. I too feel so sad for you and offer you huge cyber<<<<<HUGS>>>>>. If it were I, I most certainly would contact his aunt and offer any help, whether it be morral support, going in front of a mediater/judge, or anyother way, to see that he does indeed get to go live with his gparents. It may go a long ways for a judge, to see, that the childs firstmother is supportive of tis transaction, and hopefully they will see that the distruction this Dad, (BARFFF), has inflicted upon your son, has hurt him in many ways. He is 14, so should be able to speak freely of his feelings, his abuse, and the years of neglect from his male parental figure...all the damage should carry a huge weight towards placing him with his gparents. I send this with Blessings, prayers and serenity...please try so hard to be kind to yourself, none of us would have EVER relinquished, if we could foresee, the ramifications of relinquishing, ending like this...C.J.