Bringing back memories

I know it is hard, but try to remember that most feelings of guilt are quite useless. You were not in a position to keep the child you made an adoption plan for, and you made what at the time you felt was the best decision under the circumstances. So try not to be so hard on yourself. And try not to worry about what your son will think of you keeping other children. It may be something that bothers him or it may not. And your decisions then and now are nothing to be ashamed of! How your son may or may not feel someday shouldn't reflect upon your decision to have this baby or keep you from enjoying this pregnancy, and feeling good about it. You deserve to have that!

I just read your blog and WOW you clearly have so much love for your bson! I was in tears!!!! This new baby is a blessing, you have enough love to share, don't feel guilty, you were very young and were not given a chance to keep your bson

Dear AlisonMarie, I've been out of the forum dealing with health issues with my youngest daughter and am only just now getting back in here. I saw your post and wanted to respond. First I wanted to echo Peachy's excellent words about guilt...she's so right....it's so useless...and so hard not to feel! :-( ((( AlisonMarie ))) The above sentence speaks to me of what a good mother you are. That's how I see it. I mean, what kind of person could relinquish a child without a second thought or a moment's hesitation? Maybe there are folks like that out there.....I wouldn't want to meet them. No. You are a kind and compassionate person, otherwise you wouldn't care. Ya know? I had this issue after my youngest daughter was born. This was many years after relinquishing my daughter and son. I had this fear that something terrible would happen to her.....that the fates would exact their revenge on me for being a birthmother. And of course this HUGE fear that some unknown shadowy entity would take her from me. I've never read up on any of this, but I am thinking that maybe that's par for the course. I dunno....I think (my opinion only) that you are doing the right thing by moving through your feelings and talking about them, instead of shutting them away. Life is bittersweet is it not? You know....a few weeks back we celebrated my hubby's Birthday. There we were me and my hubby and my daughters and my SIL and my grandson.........we were all sitting around the table toasting hubby with our glasses of Coca Cola....everyone was laughing and having a great time watching my grandson throw sugar packets. :evilgrin: And I was so happy and yet I couldn't help but know that there were two people out there somewhere whom I would've loved to share that moment with. But time and tide had other plans. I cannot change what's gone before but I can grieve it and in the midst of that be thankful for what I do have. Much peace your way today,