To birthmoms from a man - why is it painful to give up your baby for adoption?

So many thoughts are rushing through my head so I will try to respond coherantly. I can only speak about my own experience so anything I say is about ME and not about anyone else. I think the most important thing to understand is that the term "unwanted pregnancy" was NEVER true for me. Unplanned? YES. Surprising? YES. But from the moment I learned I was pregnant I loved my child. Its hard to understand the pain of others and I think that is shown in your list and in what my list would look like were I too rearrange your items. Having never personally been through a divorce I would place it further down the list because of how I witnessed my sister's amicable divorce. Having not grown up with pets the thought that losing a pet would be more painful than losing a child is laughable to me but I can see that others are attached to their animals. But again thats me and my experience. Comparing pain or arguing over whose pain is worse doesn't really get anyone anywhere. Trying to understand another's pain however is very important. So back to how painful and why. For me VERY painful even 7 1/2 years later. As I said above I loved my son from the beginning and I did as every parent should do and made a decision that I believed was best for him. Was it the right decision? Well thats a topic for another day. But just because I thought it was a good decision for him does not make it any less of a sucky decision for me. I miss him every single day. I worry about him every single day. I love him to this day. And being away from someone you love is painful. Watching your child curl up with someone else. Hearing him call someone else mommy. Its all painful. Not being there on special occasions. Painful. I don't know how else to explain it. Maybe I'll figure out how to explain it later or maybe someone else will have the words.