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Thread: Adoption LIES!
Hi Rylee,
I am an adoptee with great adoptive parents. They love me more than anything in the world.
In saying that, there is nothing that made them more deserving of me than my birthmother. I have not met my birthmother yet so I don't know every little detail, but I know for a fact that she loved me - if she didn't, I wouldn't be here today. She made a choice to put me up for adoption, giving me life & breaking her heart. I will forever admire her for that.
Something my adoptive mum always said to me was how hard the adoption process was. My parents were in the database for more than 8 years trying to adopt a child. They spent more than 300 hours in interviews, medical exams, psychological exams, etc, trying to convince the agency that they were good people. A friend of ours got rejected by the agency because she was deemed 'too fat'. Another, because she had a tattoo of an angel on her arm.
Keep this in mind, yet any drug dealer or wife basher can go and get pregnant, have a child & abuse the hell out of that child & no one says a thing.
I'm not saying adoptive parents are 'perfect'. More than likely, a lot of adoptions could go badly, and children could be placed with parents who treat them terribly. Adoptive parents are not 'hero's. They are simply human beings who wanted a child so much that they are willing to take in someone elses who cannot be looked after by their biological parent at that time, for whatever reason.
My parents used to tell me all the time that I was extra special, because they 'chose' me. I choose to believe this, but I also believe that my birthmother chose me. I'm just lucky that I have two mothers that love me.
I hope this helps somewhat. I have read some pretty horrible things about adoption, about how adoptees dont really belong anywhere - we dont belong with our biological parents because they gave us up, and we dont belong with our adoptive parents because they didn't give birth to us. If I chose to believe this, then as an adoptee, who the hell would that make me? A nobody.
I do hope you are okay. I think you do need to try and stop reading the negative articles, etc, because you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and after all - does anyone else's opinion count when it comes to your life and your personal circumstance? Only your opinion counts, because you have lived it & do live it every day.
Take care.
Emma