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I'm a Roman Catholic (raised since I was a baptized baby as one and a VERY strong Catholic adolescent and teenager) but since college, I've been fluctuating between a moderate practicing Catholic and a non-practicing Catholic. My husband is Baptist (raised in the Baptist faith since he was a young boy). However, he hasn't been an avid church-goer either. When we go to church, sometimes I'll go alone to the Catholic Church, sometimes we'll go together to the Catholic Church, and sometimes we'll go together to a Baptist Church.
When we got married we agreed that any children would be raised to understand the Catholic Church teachings and go to church with us but once they were old enough to understand, (before receiving the sacrament of Confirmation but perhaps before other sacraments as well) we would expose them to the Baptist church and allow them to choose whether or not to receive sacraments or which church to attend.
Now, 10 years later, we are adopting a 9 year old ("Princess") from Foster Care. When we started down this path, we discussed religion and agreed that we would raise a foster or an adopted child in the faith that they were used to and gradually expose them to other beliefs when they were ready. I stand by that decision because it really is best for Princess.
Princess has been (at least most recently for the past year) raised in a Baptist Church. When she comes to live with us, we will take her to a Baptist church. She knows that I was raised in a different type of church but I do believe that she needs to see us a single united family and for that reason we will all attend services together at the Baptist Church.
I do want to gradually expose her to some Catholic teachings (for example, the saints that she can also look to for help and guidance) but without disrespecting the traditions and beliefs she was raised in.
Does anyone have any advice on how to do this or suggested books about the topic?
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It sounds to me like you're a very open-minded Catholic and that, because you already respect your husband's faith and the fact that it's more important to praise God as a family, rather than divide by religion, you don't really need any input from anyone else. I'm quite sure you'll raise your daughter to love God, regardless of religious preference. I'm betting you'll get a feel for her comfort level with the teachings of the Catholic church and she'll end up guiding you thru the process. My husband and I are both Catholic, but if we had not found a diverse Catholic parish (we are an interracial couple), we definitely would have considered changing our religion to a more non-denominational faith so that we could raise our children together in God. I personally feel, for what it's worth, that lots of folks put entirely too much emphasis on religion and not enough on true spirituality.
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I have to echo everything Jos has stated (Hi Jos!!! Long time, no talk!!!)If it were I, I would explain some of the beliefs or traditions of Catholicism, and let your daughter know the churches reasons behind their beliefs.But what I'd stress is that even though each of your religious denominations have differing beliefs, they are both united in their love of Christ...and what's most important is that we follow Christ's example by loving and respecting each other.As silly as this sounds, Catholicism for Dummies is actually a pretty good overview as far as "easy" explanations. I think the Catechism of the Catholic Church will be way too far over the head of a 9 year old...My boys go to Catholic School...my oldest is almost 8, so pretty close to your daughter's age. PM me if there are specific things you'd like to discuss with her...I can let you know how our school handles it in an age appropriate manner.Congratulations on your newest family member, by the way!
I think it would work to teach her the similarities between the two. There are so many things that are the same. You and DH could make a list of the similarities based on importance and work downward into those things that split away. For a 9 yr old the important things should be that both worship the same God, have belief in Jesus Christ and understand his sacrifice for us and the ability of each of us to choose to live a Christian life. Having been raised a Baptist, it's important to let her know that regardless of church, the message is the same.
Thanks to all three of you. I do believe the most important thing is that Princess believes in Jesus, understands God's commandments, respects and appreciates the sacrifices God and Jesus have made for us, and tries to live the way Christ asks us all to.
In whichever Church she finds the ability to do all those things, I will support fully. Thanks for the advice.