Can I foster/adopt a SPECIFIC child?

An young teen who has been taking karate classes from me for over two years has just had yet another adoption disrupted. The prospective parents changed their minds about adopting an older child. My husband and I are in our early 30s and we have never been foster or adoptive parents, but we want to adopt children because we are unable to conceive naturally. This young lady has become a huge part of our lives and we want very much to be able to foster and perhaps(!) adopt her...but we don't know where to begin. Is it even possible to request to foster/adopt a specific child to whom we have no relation? This is a particularly difficult situation, because she wants very much to come and live with us rather than moving to another group home, but we don't know if it's possible and don't want to give her false hope. :( The disruption was very sudden and she will be moving to a group home (not nearby) within the week.

it is most likely possible because you have a relationship with the child. start by contacting social services, you will most likely need to become licensed foster parents first. even if you do not, you need to do your research on older child adoption. it is very different than raising children from a young age.

One of my students was adopted by one of her friend's parents. They were able to due to the relationship that they have. I think your chances are great. They have never regretted it, she is one awesome kid!

Each state will have it's own rules, but I know here you could be considered a "kinship" placement. You have a prior relationship with the child even that can be considered even though you aren't relatives. You should probably contact the child's workers directly. Sometimes kinship placements can be made before all the classes are taken, etc. You would still need some background checks, and eventually you would have to complete all the same classes as foster parents. The difference is you might be able to bring her home and complete some of the process while the child is in your home.

Stevenstwin is one of the people on the board with a similar story. She was a teacher to a child she ended up fostering. It is definitely doable. I recommend starting a thread on the Foster Parent Support board here with a title something like "Fostering a child who is my student: what do I need to know?" to get the attention of others who have done the same so you can get their advice and support.

Yes. I think the terminology used for this is fictive kin. you're not related, but have a relationship with the child.

I think it depends on the state. In mine, since I am not a relative, kinship was not an option. I had to complete the requirements to become a foster parent in order to foster/adopt my son. Check with the CW who will be in the best position to explain the requirements and process. Good luck!

How California handled us - I was FD's volunteer Big Sister for five years before she was placed with me. She would have gone into foster care but DCFS asked if I would take her. I got emergency foster care status, i.e., I did not have to do the classes. My home was inspected one day and I became her foster parent and, later, her legal guardian. I was entitled to foster care rates for her. My "title" was Nonrelated Extended Family Member because I had a long term relationship with her. Some states will consider an adult who has had a long-term relationship with a child to be "kinship". I think it depends on your state. I would ask for the name of the SW. In California, foster children also have their own attorneys. You can ask for this information and contact the child's attorney, if they have one in your state. Also, if your child has a CASA, then you could contact them. CASAs write reports for the court about what's going on in the child's life, and makes recommendations about the best interests of the children, and CASAs interview the child's teachers, foster parents, doctors, therapists, etc. So you could introduce yourself to the CASA and let them know that you would be happy to be interviewed. This is an interesting link about foster children's rights in California. [url]http://www.taalliance.org/conferences/2009/materials/1c_OverviewFosterCareSystem.pdf[/url] Children over age 10 have a right to continue to see adults who have been considered to be important relationships in the children's lives. So, if you could let the SW know that you would like to have that kind of relationship, perhaps that could be a bridge toward foster parenting, too. If you were to be the child's mentor, then you would start to have a more formal relationship, too. Also, one thing you might be interested in is called "educational surrogate." I was that for a child when I was a CASA. The biological mom was not a native English speaker and could not advocate for the child. The foster parent was not advocating for the child, so as the CASA I was also given the educational rights for the child. That is a possible way to also have a more formal legal relationship recognized by the court. It was just a one page paper that I filled out and the judge okayed. Those are all possibilities that you might want to explore. I would definitely hope that at least that you could have a mentoring type of relationship that could be long-term. Many studies have been conducted that those permanent relationships are very important to foster children. Thank you for helping your student. That's wonderful. :hippie: :hippie: [url]http://www.taalliance.org/conferences/2009/materials/1c_OverviewFosterCareSystem.pdf[/url]

In our case too kinship was not an option. They required a full foster care (and then adoption) home study including MAPP classes, fingerprinting, references, etc....and our license stated "specific child" and her name on it. I would contact the SW over this child and inquire. They may have different procedures. It depends upon where you are from.

Someone else just started a thread on the topic of a teacher fostering a student here [URL="http://forums.adoption.com/../foster-parent-support/367688-teacher-foster-parent.html"]Teacher and Foster parent[/URL]

Thank you, LadyBugz - I just saw this post! The original poster, yes, that was my situation exactly, starting with no licensing or anything and asking to foster and/or adopt a specific boy I taught. You can pm me, or ask me anything here. Rules vary from place to place, but it should be possible anywhere - especially with an older and hard-to-place child!

i agree. it depends on where you are. we were non related extended family members because we were parenting the sibling of the child placed with us. in CA, we were kinship. we had an abbreviated homestudy and fingerprints, and then the child was placed with us. we didn't have to take classes until it was time to adopt. we were not licensed foster parents, we got an emergency license for this one specific child....it made it very quick. but then we moved to a new state. the new state did not recognize us as kinship, and we had to start over from scratch- reattend PATH, and do a full homestudy to become regular licensed foster parents, and THEN they would approve us. he was already with us, placed by an interstate compact, so we didn't worry too much. but my point is, we got to see first hand how two states could deal with the SAME situation in two completely different ways!

Hi @stevenstwin, we have a similar situation and are completely new to all of this. We could REALLY use some wisdom from your experiences.