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Hello,
I have a few questions about domestic infant adoption for military families.
I'm a new military wife and know nothing about the military. Getting my dependent card was quite the experience.
I contacted two adoptions agencies here in Ohio. One stated they don't work with military families. (deployments being the issue) The other sent me a very nice brochure, but they seem to violate some of the recommendations that I received from my husband's family support officer.
Needless to say, I not wild about this agency, but at least they will talk to us which is better than the first one. What do folks do about the deployment issue? It seems to be a major barrier to adoption.
I'm also uncomfortable about gift(s) to the birth mother and these large birth mother expenses. Again, the nice man at the family center stated that there are social welfare programs to help with birth expenses and we should NOT be asked to pay for them. So, I'm confused.
Any suggestions or hints?
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Hello and welcome to the military life! :)I don't have any info on infant domestic adoptions, but there is always the option of adopting through the foster care system. That is what my husband and I are doing. :) We were worried about the deployment issue, too, until we talked to our social worker. She said here in OK, they have a 6 month "trial period" once you get matched with a child. But if there is a deployment coming up, you can go in front of a judge and get that trial period waived. But overall, she said they don't discriminate against military families, which was a huge relief! If you really want to do the infant adoption, I would just keep searching until you find one that is military-friendly. Good luck!
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I'm gald you asked this question. I have been worried about running into discrimination with being a military family. My DH is non-deployable for 2 +years because of our duty, but I'm still worried that some agencies will not be open to us because we are military. It should be a protected class not one that gets discriminated against.
I'm sorry I must have missed this original question. My husband has been in the USAF for 15 years now (5 to go!!! yea!!!) and we adopted our daughter while stationned in Ohio (WPAFB). We had absolutely no issue at all with him being the military. I paid extra for homestudy to be done quickly, in fact, he was actually TDY when we started contacting agencies and doing paperwork; I was Fedexing things for him to sign and fill out. If you can use a large, national agency that would certainly be easier in a way since they place in most every state should you PCS. And once you are placed with a baby, many agencies may not realize that the military will grant your husband a 6 month deployment deferment; which will in most states allow you enough time to finalize an adoption. We signed with a large national agency, but since they network with smaller agencies all over the country, we were ultimately matched with a birthmother in Ohio (and thus ended up working with a great Ohio agency). I'll pm you the name of the agency if you want it. Oh, btw, I wouldn't give a second thought to what anyone in the military tells you about adoption, and certainly not family support. You could call there 5 times, talk to 5 different people and get 5 different answers. Oh, btw, I believe in the state of Ohio, there is a limit on birthmother expenses at $3K. The agencies get around that though by charging "placement fees" that are higher but ultimately they support the birthmothers through those fees. I don't want to be taken advantage of, but everyone needs some help sometimes and no, the social services programs just don't do enough.
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