Questions

Welcome! First, banish the thought of being selfish if you want to adopt. How people add to their families is up to them, so you do what is best for you and your family. :) Second, as to your question about minority infants, it depends where you live. I happen to live in an area and work with an agency that does more minority placements. Our DD is Hispanic/Caucasian- first mom's side, and AA on first dad's side. When I first looked into adoption, my DH and I went to a free seminar held by a local lawyer. He explained the different types of adoptions (domestic, international, foster-adopt, private) and was really quite helpful. Then I got a list of all the agencies in our state. I then found this site, and then found a list of questions to ask agencies (how many placements per year, avg wait, etc). I then worked my way down the list of agencies until they answered the questions "right", and I felt comfortable with them. Ended up VERY happy with our choice. :) Good luck in your journey.

I agree....don't feel guilty. My dh and I were completely capable of having bio kids and we chose not to from the very beginning. All of our babies (six in all) have been adopted. I agree that depending on where you live (or are willing/able to travel for a baby).....will often determine how long your wait might be for a multi-racial baby. And, along with that, is what level of special situations (drug use, already born, etc) you might consider. There are so many variables when adopting domestically, it's hard to give more than basic advice. I think you're wise not to adopt an older child (even toddler) from the foster care system due to your other children being young. But, after you determine a basic idea of 'what kind of baby are we looking for'.....you can consult with agencies/attorneys near you. Some states will also require that you obtain a state foster to adopt care license if you want to cross state lines and find a baby in another state. Other states will not require this. An agency or adoption attorney will know such things. If you'd like to pm me, please feel free to do so. Just don't get overwhelmed in the info you may read or hear about. Adoption is complex and certainly a waiting game. It also has avenues where you can lose a lot of money if you don't know what you're doing---or, let your heart lead too much over your head, so to speak. Just understand from the start it WILL be a journey with ups and downs and nail-biting waiting times. However, done carefully, you'll not lose money and enjoy the miracle of adoption when it comes to you. Most Sincerely, Linny

Thank you all so much for all of the info!! I have been thinking that we may try to adopt through foster care. By older children I mean older than about 3 or 4. I am very nervous about the idea of bringing older children than that into the family bc I want to make sure that my children are completely safe. I don't mean to sound judgemental towards older children in foster care... but I have mentored children in foster care and know the kinds of things they deal with bc of their unfortunate pasts. At some point, I would like to reach out more to these children, but for now I feel like it is my job to keep my children as safe as possible... even from bad influence of other kids. I hope that does not sound too harsh. I really do love all children. If we adopted through foster care, what are the chances of adopting a child between the ages of infant to 3?? The only children that I have ever met in foster care were teens. I am not sure if I feel that international adoption is right for us. The traveling involved would be hard for us. Is it harder to adopt internationally?? Linny- I would love to hear more about your children if you have time to share a little!! How old were they when you adopted them? Did you adopt knowing that you would adopt so many or did you just keep feeling like you had room for more?? I could totally see us adopting several children at some point.

Adopting is not selfish, it is selfless! God will put the child you are meant to have in front of you, no matter how it physically arrives in this world. I like to think that adoption is the ultimate mission trip because you take a child into your world for life instead of going into theirs for a short time. We got our two (ages 2 and 4) through the foster system. Talk to your local foster care coordinator, they can tell you how many kids in each age range they take in for fostering each year and how many get placed for adoption. That can give you some idea about the kids availabe in your area.

Not selfish at all. Every birthmother looks for somethign different. What if there is one out there looking for a loving Christian home with siblings? Bingo - you are the perfect fit! Our agency told us that when biosiblings are involved it can take a bit longer, however I have a friend who just started the process and within 1 week she had an opportunity present itself. Good luck.

we've decided to go the international route. the more we learn, the more we change our minds about what would work best for our family. I can see how so many people who want to adopt get overwhelmed and never go through with it. I am determined that that will not happen to us! I want to adopt a child so badly.