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aclee...I agree with you 100%. Having a bio child doesn't always mean that things will be perfect. I was a healthy newborn only to turn diabetic at 22 months old. I often asked my mother and father if they wished I had never been born because of it. They always said NO. When my bio daughter was born, she had a hole in her heart, her thyroid was off from my medicine, and she was born a month early. She wasn't "perfect" but luckily, she ended up being perfect. She's currently in a research program for children with parents and siblings with Type 1 diabetes. It checks for the antibodies that show up before diabetes does. Every year, while we wait for the results, I feel sick that I could have subjected my daughter to this insidious disease. So far, she's been negative but it is a constant worry.
I struggled with the home study questions that asked about what we would accept. How do you know? It was definitely a leap of faith. When our son was presented to us, he also had a hole in his heart and was drug exposed. I kept asking my husband if we could handle it...he answered, "We handle all the health issues you have. How would it be different?" He was right. When our son was about 8 weeks old, it was discovered that he had a more serious heart defect....narrowing of his aorta. We were devastated. All these scary thoughts passed thru our minds. The agency even asked if we wanted to disrupt the adoption. Over my dead body!!!! But in the end, he's fine. No surgery, just a once a year check. He wasn't "perfect" initially and he's just great now.
My DH and I met with a group from our agency pre-adoption. None of these couples had children. Each couple wanted "perfect" and I tried to explain that "perfect" now doesn't always mean "perfect" later. Look at me. I have a ton of things wrong with me but was a healthy newborn. But sometimes, things that don't seem "perfect" at first are just that.
Chrissy