Should I stop fostering?

For the first month or so we had our Baby V, her crying seemed incessant, and drove me up the wall. If it weren't for my darling DH taking on night duty, I would have gone insane. Then she started sleeping through the night, and even though her daytime wails (bc they are wails, not wimpers) still frustrate me at times, it's a completely different story now. Once I was able to get a good night's sleep every night without feeling guilty for my hubby getting up, and once she started to communicate by pointing to what she wanted, everything got easier. Now, 10 months later, she is transitioning home to mom and I am heartbroken at the thought of losing her. This after saying in those first few weeks that I hope the judge says the removal was unfounded, so she can go home! I feel horrible about that. Now I love my Baby V and am grateful that I will be able to stay in her life bc her mom and I (and DH) have developed a friendship. I am also grateful for this time with her bc it helped me realize that I am not cut out for parenting a newborn (she was 6 months old when she came to us, and even then it was too intense for me). If I hadn't had this experience, I would've jumped into newborn adoption and probably resented my child and hated the first year with him or her. Now that I see how much fun a 16 month old is, I am eager to adopt a toddler. However, I am also aware that I do not see myself fostering again. So to answer your question, OP, I think your placements have been too short for you to have had a chance to truly bond and get used to their quirks. It's nothing to feel bad about, and if you can get over the guilt and want to press on, I would say keep fostering. :)