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Thanks very much, Sarah! This is a tough subject that is a bit difficult to get feedback on. Many moms who have an adoption fall through at the last minute just retreat from message boards and everything that reminds them of it all. (Not that they shouldn't, just that it makes it more difficult to get their feelings on it).
The time that I had to give back a baby I'd been nursing for 24 hours, I was very thankful both that I all ready had children, and that I still had a 20 month old nursing a little bit.
I think it is a good idea for you to move your milk to the freezer in your garage. During the nearly nine years that it took us to get our first baby, from 1974-1983, inducing lactation in advance wasn't really an option, but I made baby things, to help me get through it. They were all embroidered and had french seams and anything else I could do to make them special. As I made them, I just kept reminding myself that I would have a baby to wear them, some day. Every time we had an infertility treatment or possible adoption fall through, I got where I couldn't stand to see them and packed them away and didn't sew for a while. Then, when I got back on my feet again, I got them out, and went back to sewing. Not the same thing, but somewhat similar, I think!
As far as keeping frozen milk, what have you heard about how long it is safe to keep it in a deep freeze? I know some sources say six months is the longest and some up to a year. I wonder, though, if that is the amount of time before the milk starts to spoil, loses nutrients, loses immune factors, or what. I suspect that it would still be usable for longer than that, even if it isn't quite as good as milk that was recently expressed. I think there are things that can be done to increase the time, too, like freezing it as soon as possible after you express it, storing it in something that protected it very well from the freezer air, and which you could get all of the air out of, keeping it in the back of the freezer where the temperature wouldn't change every time the door was opened, etc.. I guess the question, like with taking medication while lactating, is whether it would make it so that formula would actually be better. I would think that it could be kept quite a while and still offer advantages over formula.
How old is your daughter and how is she handling not getting the baby sibling she was expecting? With the baby we didn't get to keep, my oldest daughter, who was four at the time, was pretty sad for a while. Of course, we were very blessed to find the baby we were supposed to have only three weeks later. I hope you will find yours soon, too!
Noelani