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Can I ask if any of you adopted (domestic)and paid Birthmother expenses and what is the average spent in this area? 1k, 5k? I have no idea.
Also, if any of you adopted and it failed and you were re matched, did you have to pay this expense again or just wait longer the 2nd time to match with a mom that did not have a need for you to cover this since you spent that money in the first match that failed?
Thanks
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There really isn't an average for expectant parent expenses. Different states have different rules about them.
We paid 2 months' rent, plus bought some personal care items for our son's birthmother. I can't remember how much it was, but I'll guess between $1500 and $3000.
In general, once you pay expectant parent expenses, that money is gone. So, if an expectant mom chooses to parent (she's not a birth mom until she places her child for adoption), and you paid a month's rent or bought maternity clothes, then that money is gone. Only one state requires that expectant parents repay expenses paid, and I can't remember which it is right now.
:hippie:
We arent paying anything in emom expenses. Through our agency as part of our agency fee we pay for a lifetime of couseling, but we arent paying any expenses. If we were to pay expenses and TPR didnt happen, we would just be out that money unless its medical expenses and in that case its payed after TPR.
i guess the question i would ask myself is how much do you have to lose?? I know thats kinda a different way of thinking about it, but if she decides to parent, you are just out that money. I wouldnt ever pay more than $1000 and thats only if its absolutely necessary!!! Rach