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This is meant to be a poll/discussion if you can hang on till the end......... I am making a scrapbook for each of my boys in TX so I was uploading photos to Walmart's website. That got me thinking about printing some pictures of S, my respite kiddo, and giving them to his CW in case there is a lifebook being made for him. I was about to start uploading S's pictures when I stopped and wondered "is this ok?" In the end I decided not to upload the photos because I didn't know if that would violate the rules since S is a foster child. I know pictures can't be online but would it have been ok for me to do such just so they can be printed and picked up at the local Walmart store? I plan to ask the CW on Tuesday and for now, I won't upload the photos. BUT all that got me thinking about mistakes that foster parents can make and which ones are 'ok' and which ones might cost FP their license or result in other consequences. So, if anyone wants to play along, feel free to offer opinions about what mistakes can be made and what consequences are appropriate. You can use your own real life examples if you want. I did make a mistake with my first case (an emergency placement). I am with a private agency and the county CW asked me to come see the child. I allowed them to and was later told by my private agency that I need to run things like that by them first. I was VERY lucky that I did not get in trouble or face other consequences and I know that I will definitely not do it again. I am wondering what have others done that was a mistake and what consequences, if any, were there? If you respond, please include if you are with a county or private agency as I think it would be interesting to see how that affects things. PLEASE ONLY PLAY ALONG IF YOU CAN BE NICE and NOT ATTACK OTHERS. We ALL make mistakes at some point and do not need to be beaten up for them.
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When C was sick recently, I forgot to call C's Mom and give her an update despite having promised her I would. She asked about it during the next week's visit and I apologized. I felt bad that I had committed to calling and had failed to follow through. I apologized as soon as it was mentioned.
I almost got myself in trouble just recently with my first placement. I was given the email address of her aunt across the country so that we could start exchanging photos and info in anticipation of her adopting my FD. I wasn't told anything about confidentiality when I was given her email address and I really thought, since she was my FD's maternal aunt and the named adoptive resource, that she knew more about the case then I did. I came very close to spilling everything that happened at the most recent trial, but something in the back of my head stopped me. I emailed the CW who told me not to tell her anything that I wouldn't tell an outsider. Good thing I asked! The only reason I hadn't said a lot about the case was that I didn't want to upset her with things about her own sister. They really should have told me, I would have been mad if I inadvertantly broken confidentiality.
The first time my FD went to the ER, I called the county to let them know. I am with a private agency. I didn't call them. I thought that as long as the custodial county knew, I didn't have to contact my agency. Silly me, I thought they actually communicated with each other about things like this. Didn't really get yelled at or scolded. My CW is awesome. She just basically said "Next time, just give us a call within 12 hours. We need to know whats going on, plus we like to pray for the kids in our care". Its a private Christian agency. Never had a problem since then. In fact, I only have to call my agency now, then they do the job of calling the county to notify them. :)
I think my biggest mistake (so far!) has been accepting the placement of Joy Boy's older sibling when I knew it was going to be short term. Unfortunately, the child didn't know that and it caused undue stress for the child and my family. If the child was going back home, it would be one thing, but this child was going to be moving on to yet another foster placement. We were only a short stop along the way, but one that this child had long term hope for. My heart still breaks.
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Mallynn
Kaspoo- If you don't mind my asking, what do you feel you were naive about? Are their any naive mistakes that you could warn others from making?
Our biggest mistake was when we had D the first time. At that time, it was not a requirement that family had to be licensed for kinship placements. D was very sick and we spent 5 days in the hospital. Bmom and Bdad were each in drug rehabs over an hour away from us. We absolutely did not want them to know. We didn't want them to disrupt their treatment and come hang out @ the hospital. It would have not been in D's best interest. So, we kept it to ourselves. We didn't tell the cw. She didn't find out until several months later when my husband innocently said something to her about it. When she did finally find out, she blew it off anyway. Rules and guidelines were never explained to us & we were basically on our own. Home visits were never performed with us. Now when we even have a dr. appt set, we let the cw worker know. Then we call her to tell her the results of the appt. She says to keep her posted, so we do. We've been given guidelines this time and we follow them to a T.
When we first got our now adopted sons as fs we had taken them for their checkup and the doctor did a finger stick lead test. The doctors office called Sat morning and said their levels were high and they needed to go for bloodwork. Not knowing any better because we had only been fpfor less than a year we took them right away to have it done. When I told the cw the next week I got yelled at. I wasn't allowed to take them for any thing like that with out permission and could have got in big trouble if bp didn't want it done. luckily we didn't get in trouble but I always ask first now. Another mistake we did was not to let my sister know she couldn't show their picture to anyone. She was going to counseling at our fc agency and showed their picture to the receptionist who photo copied it and gave it to the cw. We got told about it and the receptionist got in trouble for it. My sister klearned never to show their picture to anyone again until they were adopted.
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I made the mistake of crossing over into the grey area of "blogging" about being a foster-parent. I thought that as long as I didn't post specifics (I did not have the geographical location), did not put their names (I used nicknames or first letter), did not post identifying pictures (I did post a few shots of them from behind, from time-to-time, not showing their face) that I would be fine... I was not. Someone (found out later it was a family member of MINE) reported me. I got a referral and was "in trouble" for what I shared. No more blogging for me. Not worth it.
kbabel77
The worst thing I have done is send my FS on a visit with his parents wearing a shirt that read "I still live with my parents." It was my older sons and I didn't even realize what it said when I sent him out the door. Oops.
the worst mistake i ever made, i actually made twice. My FD has an unusual spelled name with a ' in it. We took her to the ER last dec and jan with RSV and an abcess surgery. Both times i called the CW and let her know we were gong to the hospital and she said fine. In filling out the necessary paperwork, i put my name and address on it. I then Put an * beside my signature with a note explaining that dhr is responsible for all billings not covered by medicaid and gave them a copy of the paper from dhr stating this. Long story short - I am still getting the hospital bills from this $1,450.00 total....DO NOT SIGN ANY PAPER WORK. Medicaid is declining the bill saying they cannot identify patient. Apparently the hospital cannot put an ' in a name. I strongly encourage insisting the on-call caseworker to meet you at the hospital to sign off on all paperwork!!! We are having a hard time getting our credit fixed. If she was legally mine, i wouldn't mind paying these bills, but if she was legally mine she would be on our insurance.
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Not so much a mistake on my part, but an assumption that we would have clearer expectations as to how our case will work out. :confused: As of now its reunification, but it doesn't seem like any progress is being made. We are new to this anyhow, but I hate not knowing how long we will get to enjoy our FS. :dance: But I hate for him that he hasn't been with parents in nearly 1 1/2.
This is meant to be a poll/discussion if you can hang on till the end.........I am making a scrapbook for each of my boys in TX so I was uploading photos to Walmart's website. That got me thinking about printing some pictures of S, my respite kiddo, and giving them to his CW in case there is a lifebook being made for him. I was about to start uploading S's pictures when I stopped and wondered "is this ok?" In the end I decided not to upload the photos because I didn't know if that would violate the rules since S is a foster child. I know pictures can't be online but would it have been ok for me to do such just so they can be printed and picked up at the local Walmart store? I plan to ask the CW on Tuesday and for now, I won't upload the photos. BUT all that got me thinking about mistakes that foster parents can make and which ones are 'ok' and which ones might cost FP their license or result in other consequences.
Last update on November 20, 7:38 pm by Baton Vlad.