Advertisements
Advertisements
Mallynn
Kaspoo- If you don't mind my asking, what do you feel you were naive about?
Are their any naive mistakes that you could warn others from making?
I was naive because when I became a FP I was still thinking on the level of a professional. As a professional I had some control, as a FP I have very little to none. My experiences in the human services field helped to give me an idea as to the kinds of children and families I would be working with, I understood the way the court system works, I also understood how most of the CW's think but the hard part was again the control issue.
I have no say, I am just watching from the sidelines and that is/was hard for me. Sometimes I catch myself saying things. I have out and out told CW's that I don't think they are handling things right, and that's not the best way of going about things, people don't like to be told how to do their jobs, even if they need to be told. :woohoo:I have been scolded for my openness, so I have had to change how I approach CW. I have had to step back and say to myself this isn't my case, I am not the CW. This doesn't mean that I don't advocate for my kids, I do, I just have to go about it in a different way like writing letters to the judge, or talking to supervisors, and/ or therapists.
It takes more patients to be a FP then a CW:p . I am always waiting, having to go through several different chains of people to achieve things that use to take me only a few phone calls and emails.There is a big line between working in it, and living in it... it's a whole new world.
Advertisements
Our biggest mistake was when we had D the first time. At that time, it was not a requirement that family had to be licensed for kinship placements. D was very sick and we spent 5 days in the hospital. Bmom and Bdad were each in drug rehabs over an hour away from us. We absolutely did not want them to know. We didn't want them to disrupt their treatment and come hang out @ the hospital. It would have not been in D's best interest. So, we kept it to ourselves. We didn't tell the cw. She didn't find out until several months later when my husband innocently said something to her about it. When she did finally find out, she blew it off anyway. Rules and guidelines were never explained to us & we were basically on our own. Home visits were never performed with us. Now when we even have a dr. appt set, we let the cw worker know. Then we call her to tell her the results of the appt. She says to keep her posted, so we do. We've been given guidelines this time and we follow them to a T.
When we first got our now adopted sons as fs we had taken them for their checkup and the doctor did a finger stick lead test. The doctors office called Sat morning and said their levels were high and they needed to go for bloodwork. Not knowing any better because we had only been fpfor less than a year we took them right away to have it done. When I told the cw the next week I got yelled at. I wasn't allowed to take them for any thing like that with out permission and could have got in big trouble if bp didn't want it done. luckily we didn't get in trouble but I always ask first now.
Another mistake we did was not to let my sister know she couldn't show their picture to anyone. She was going to counseling at our fc agency and showed their picture to the receptionist who photo copied it and gave it to the cw. We got told about it and the receptionist got in trouble for it. My sister klearned never to show their picture to anyone again until they were adopted.
I made the mistake of crossing over into the grey area of "blogging" about being a foster-parent. I thought that as long as I didn't post specifics (I did not have the geographical location), did not put their names (I used nicknames or first letter), did not post identifying pictures (I did post a few shots of them from behind, from time-to-time, not showing their face) that I would be fine...
I was not. Someone (found out later it was a family member of MINE) reported me. I got a referral and was "in trouble" for what I shared.
No more blogging for me. Not worth it.
Advertisements
The worst thing I have done is send my FS on a visit with his parents wearing a shirt that read "I still live with my parents." It was my older sons and I didn't even realize what it said when I sent him out the door. Oops.
kbabel77
The worst thing I have done is send my FS on a visit with his parents wearing a shirt that read "I still live with my parents." It was my older sons and I didn't even realize what it said when I sent him out the door. Oops.
Okay, this is not funny at all but still I chuckled. It sounds like something I would do and then be mortified about it when I realized what I had done.
the worst mistake i ever made, i actually made twice. My FD has an unusual spelled name with a ' in it. We took her to the ER last dec and jan with RSV and an abcess surgery. Both times i called the CW and let her know we were gong to the hospital and she said fine. In filling out the necessary paperwork, i put my name and address on it. I then Put an * beside my signature with a note explaining that dhr is responsible for all billings not covered by medicaid and gave them a copy of the paper from dhr stating this. Long story short - I am still getting the hospital bills from this $1,450.00 total....DO NOT SIGN ANY PAPER WORK. Medicaid is declining the bill saying they cannot identify patient. Apparently the hospital cannot put an ' in a name. I strongly encourage insisting the on-call caseworker to meet you at the hospital to sign off on all paperwork!!! We are having a hard time getting our credit fixed. If she was legally mine, i wouldn't mind paying these bills, but if she was legally mine she would be on our insurance.
Not so much a mistake on my part, but an assumption that we would have clearer expectations as to how our case will work out. :confused: As of now its reunification, but it doesn't seem like any progress is being made. We are new to this anyhow, but I hate not knowing how long we will get to enjoy our FS. :dance: But I hate for him that he hasn't been with parents in nearly 1 1/2.
Advertisements
This is meant to be a poll/discussion if you can hang on till the end.........
I am making a scrapbook for each of my boys in TX so I was uploading photos to Walmart's website. That got me thinking about printing some pictures of S, my respite kiddo, and giving them to his CW in case there is a lifebook being made for him. I was about to start uploading S's pictures when I stopped and wondered "is this ok?" In the end I decided not to upload the photos because I didn't know if that would violate the rules since S is a foster child. I know pictures can't be online but would it have been ok for me to do such just so they can be printed and picked up at the local Walmart store? I plan to ask the CW on Tuesday and for now, I won't upload the photos. BUT all that got me thinking about mistakes that foster parents can make and which ones are 'ok' and which ones might cost FP their license or result in other consequences.
Find this interesting thread throw the years.
We need a listening ear. We need know when you have favourites (children wise). We weren't born yesterday, and most of us are informed about our rights, however some aren't. We would like upfront trust, and not to be treated like we're liars and untrustworthy and anyway that information could help you to avoid the simple mistakes with your future kids.
Last update on November 20, 7:38 pm by Baton Vlad.