RAD Daughter and Food

My 7 y/o son is the same. We've read the Nancy Thomas book, and it's hard to stick to it when one child is the detached RAD and his 6 y/o sister is the clingy/charmer RAD. We take it one thing at a time. He is on his second round of pull-ups for soiling #1 and #2 on himself on purpose. He takes food at night when he should be sleeping, takes our cell phones and Ipods to play games on, even going through my purse to get them!