My 7 y/o son is the same. We've read the Nancy Thomas book, and it's hard to stick to it when one child is the detached RAD and his 6 y/o sister is the clingy/charmer RAD. We take it one thing at a time. He is on his second round of pull-ups for soiling
#1 and
#2 on himself on purpose. He takes food at night when he should be sleeping, takes our cell phones and Ipods to play games on, even going through my purse to get them!
My first therapist had recommended that I use Nancy Thomas' book as a guide for raising my daughter. I wasn't able to do very well with it. In the beginning the consequences were novel and my daughter would go along with them, but when she got tired of them I had limited options for enforcing them. I had no respite care provider or support team. Add to that the fact that my daughter, like most RAD kids, had virtually no concept of cause and effect so she really didn't understand the "if you do x then you will have y consequence" lesson so it did nothing to reduce future bad behavior.
Then we tried putting poker chips in a vase -- green for good behavior, red for bad -- and letting her pull a chip out whenever she wanted something. If it was green the answer was yes, if red then it would be no. She couldn't "blame" me if she didn't like the result. Eventually that got hard to keep up with.
Our new therapist then broke the news that Nancy Thomas' book wasn't the best available, that her method relies too heavily on consequences and control. More recent research has shown that kids with attachment issues are living in a state of fear and stress beyond anything we can imagine and need help to learn how to regulate their response to stress. He recommended that I read "Parenting with Love and Logic," which I haven't started yet, and "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control," which I'm reading now, as well as taking an online parenting class taught by the author. It's a very different way of thinking, but it has taken the pressure off me to always be in control of everything, which makes it a lot easier to remain calm and actually in control. :)