Going to a black church

Have you thought about checking out the church communities through some of their activities that are not worship related? My only experience in a "black church" was when a Jamaican friend of mine took me to a poetry reading at her parents' church. It was a cultural, rather than religous event, and I enjoyed it tremendously. I was the only white person present, but I had the advantage of arriving with a family who had strong relations with the church, and I was received warmly, albeit with a bit of curiousity. I was inappropriately dressed, and in the future, I will be sure to check on the dress standards. Obviously I don't know how I would have been received if I had not arrived with friends associated with the church, but overall it was a wonderful experience.

I just wanted to give my (probably useless) experience. I used to go sometimes with my brother (way before I had kids) because he liked the choir... I'm not sure what denomination was but I think it was called "christ the king" church or something like that. It was not in a great area but it seemed safe on sunday morning. The problem I had was that the service went on for hours... yikes my attention span is short as it is but this seemed never ending. And they kept passing an offering plate like about 5 times throughout. It cleaned out my pockets and I left feeling glazed over and somnolent! There were people when you first walked in who said hi and welcome though nobody really talked to us much, but I don't know if it was just a standoffish crowd in general.. I don't think it was due to race. The music program was quite outstanding though. I got caught up in the excitement when the choir would sing and everybody would clap and seem very enthusiastic. It almost seemed like it rocked the building. The singers were just fabulous. I would have gone more often except that I couldn't afford to and didn't want to spend all afternoon at church!! :-) Did you end up finding a place and how has it been?

Oceanica, I'm black and that's the reason I don't got to a black church-the length. I have ADD and I start to zone out after about 40 minutes!! The 2 churches I've been to were multiracial and the service was an hour. The mom of my boys sibs belongs to an Apostolic church in GA. When we visited we went... 3.5 hours in the morning and 3 hours at night. I'm amazed at people that can do that... I can't. And as to the offering: I give what I can. There have been times when I haven't put anything in it.

Another misconception... not all black churches have long services. It varies by denomination and the congregation. It's one of the reasons why I don't attend black baptist churches anymore. I've never been to one that holds to a strict time limit for services. There's probably some out there that do...I just haven't found one. The AME church I attend sticks to an hour... the only time I've seen it run longer is on Children's Day or the big holidays and you are warned that it will run longer than usual. We usually don't attend our church on holidays because we go to DH's parents church or his Grandmother's church and they do not have a time limit on their services. We slide in an hour or two late and the service still goes on another hour or two. It's too unpredictable and too long for me. Because these are family churches we can't slide out early without catching grief... so we slide in late. When I say these are family churches it means pretty much all of the congregation is related to DH. Both of them are Missionary Baptist Churches. AME - African Methodist Episcopal follows Methodist doctrine and order of worship. The church operates under the Episcopal form of church government. You really have to check around to find out the length of worship services. ETA... Regarding the collection plate. It only goes around once in DH's family churches and my church. I used to attend church with an ex-boyfriend and their pastor used to roll the plate around multiple times...They fired him after he passed the collection plate during the Christmas program.

Thanks, Sleeplvr: I stand corrected. I'll check them out in my area. I also want a church that includes all people. The last church was great except that the pastor didn't think gays should get married.

LOL Sleeplvr, maybe that plate passed into his pockets?I am an ex Roman Catholic..so any service over 1 hour is a lot. lol So was Dh and he is even less tolerant of overly long services. I attend a Baptist church and we are done within 2 hours, and the clock is watched :-) our pastor likes his ball games too. lol I love how the kids are nurtured,and encouraged. One collection is taken as well. Seems regardless of race "Fundamentalist" type sub denomination churches, they tend to do their own thing, and services can go on for a while. However, it seems those types, its the fellowship etc which is a huge part of the congregation's life so they love it. The visitors not used to such..not so much. lol

At my Baptist church, the service tends to be around an hour and 15 minutes. Sometimes longer if the pastor really gets going. LOL! Plus there is a LOT of singing. We have a band and the music is loud. I love it. The kids go to Children's Church so I get to enjoy the service in peace.

I knew there was a Baptist Church somewhere without all day services. If I'm up your way I will visit. I live in Georgia so there are churches on just about every corner, on tv or on the radio. Once you get into the various denominations there are different things they do and you will need to check that particular churches calendar. I know people who won't go on first Sunday and those who only go on first Sunday. For DH's family first Sunday is a big deal. They have dinner like what was in the movie Soul Food. They go to DH's grandmother's house. When I was growing up dinner was held in the fellowship hall. Another way to visit churches is online. Some churches have services via webcast. It's a good way to check it out without leaving your house.

So to further complicate things, I just found the DS's birth mom and her side of the family are all Jewish. Bmom has been married 2 times to jewish men. I am kind of confused by my reaction to the news. Being a non christian family never even occured to me.

For some reason, I am thinking Sammy Davis Jr lolIDK being Jewish is so varied, and its more than a religion, its a heritage thing. Being Black is also varied,and its more of the experience of being Black in America. How do you deal with that experience and handle the good and bad. I always found this to be true, since in my family we have so many who do not look Black, or full Black etc; Those of use who look so called Black and are not full Black. So what is it then? Anyway, it is important that he knows what his heritages are about.. and later on he can make that decision. The most important thing is he is comfy with *all* of who he is, and those likewise.

Let me know. :-) DH is in the run out the church to go to breakfast group per our pastor. LOL

Being Jewish can be a religion and or heritage... It depends on your perspective. I think according to Jewish law your son is considered Jewish because his bmom was. I'm not sure how adoption impacts that. If she was a convert then it's up to you whether you want to delve into it or not. If she's ethnically Jewish I would investigate it for his sake. No harm in visiting a Synagogue.

I'm a former transracial adoptee, now a grown woman :) I was raised by an elderly white woman in a rural, all-white town in the UK. I'm of West African parentage. Anyhow, my actually foster mom was too old to really take me anywhere, but her grown-up daughter (who was white, obviously) used to take me to predominately black areas like Brixton where she would be the only white person around. I remember that the black people we met were extremely nice to her and they seemed touched that she was trying to integrate me into my own culture. If anyone's interested, I've actually written a couple of articles about my experience as a transracial adoptee (see below). And I've also published a memoir all about it. My book's called 'Color Blind' and was recently reviewed in USA Today, who called it "a startlingly powerful memoir..." :flower: [url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/07/precious-williams-journey-home]Precious Williams: My long journey home | Life and style | The Guardian[/url] [url=http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2010/07/23/114976/growing-up-black-with-white-adoptee-parents.htm]Growing up black with white adoptee parents - 7/23/2010 - Community Care[/url] [url=http://www.preciouswilliams.com]PRECIOUSWILLIAMS.COM[/url]

Derailing for a minute... Precious williams, thanks so much for those links and letting us know a little about yourself. You are so beautiful in the pic. Perhaps on another thread you could give tra parents some advice given your experiences. I look forward to more input from you and hope you continue posting on a.com. :-) OK back to the regularly scheduled thread!!

This just made me smile. ;) As someone CC Jewish raising two Hispanic children, please let me know if I can be of assistance in anyway on navigating the Jewish side of all this. :hippie: