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I am the adoptive father of a bi-racial daughter. She just recently turned 5, so she's not in school yet. We have her in a local program that does dance, singing and acting. They are currently putting on "Toy Story".
There are about 20 CC children in the group and only two kids of any color. My daughter is also the only child with AA type of hair. She stands out, but I happen to think it's because she is just so darned beautiful.
So, I learned that her character is a monkey - Toy Story, think barrel of monkeys. She will be in a brown monkey suit. I find this off-putting at best and won't go where I am feeling at worst. I haven't said anything because my wife insists I'm just too sensitive and they made her a monkey because she is close to the youngest one and the costume works. I happen to think they could have made her an army man, or a barbie or something else, just not a monkey. I don't want the other kids to have that association with her.
My problem, or theirs? I'm really unsure. thanks
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What does your DD think about it? Did she have input on the selection, or was she just given the part?
I am CC and my child is CC, so take my response with a grain of salt. It is entirely possible that the teachers made no association with her race and the costume. I know I wouldn't if I were in that position. I just don't look at a biracial/AA child and think monkey and honestly before getting on these forums and seeing how much some parents have a problem with it due to things that have happened to their children, I wouldn't see the difference in a biracial child or a CC child playing the role of the monkey.
If you have a problem with it, talk to the teacher about it. It may have been totally innocent and you can tell her that you don't want your DD and others in the class to think that the only thing she is worthy of being in the play is the monkey, if that's how you feel. If you're going to discuss it with the teacher, probably the sooner the better so that it won't be so hard on DD if you change her part...she may be looking forward to the part and may be less receptive to changing her part the longer you wait.
Unless you have had problems like this in the past I would just view the costume assignment as having an unintended racial undertone. I would simply take the time to educate the teacher on the historic racial slurs that associated African Americans with monkeys and that you would prefer that your daughter play another charater.
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Is she the only monkey? As you said, it is a barrell full of monkeys, so it may be that everyone from her group is a monkey.
Or did she chose to be a monkey?
Monkey's are very popular right now.
But, if you are not comfortable and it won't upset your daughter have it changed. These shes should be fun at this age.
I've been thinking about this overnight. My two cents (for what it's worth):
I tend to doubt the teacher connected your daughter's race with the role of a monkey. However, she should be made aware that she needs to be a bit more sensitive. A simple comment should due. Something like "You know, casting the only AA girl in the class as a monkey might send the wrong message". However, I would NOT let her change it because then it would signal something to your daughter that she probably hasn't even thought about. If your daughter is happy, let her be happy!
Personally, I don't know that I would have thought about it either. And I've spent years in the school system. Thank you for making me more aware.
All of my bio children are biracial. My just-turned-five-year-old would love to play a monkey - he adored the Curious George movie that came out a couple of years ago. I would have never made that type of connection if he was given that role. Is your daughter happy? I would hate for an innocent role in a play to cause her unhappiness. I would just watch closely to see if there are any other "unconscious incidents." If there were, I'd definitely say something. But I would let her continue playing a monkey now if she is happy doing so.
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No, I do not think you are being too sensitive. As the mother of an AA/Hispanic baby girl, I have had to have this **** monkey talk with A LOT of people in my circle. They are CC, and most don't get it, and refuse to acknowledge the point I am trying to make. My mother is one of those people, and has now bought TWO items with monkeys on them. Monkeys might make me lose my mind. lol
Talk to the teacher. Feel her out. It's probably an innocent mistake, but innocent or not, it's an issue. I'd ask that she give your DD another role. Just make sure you let the teacher know the historical significance of why you are upset...and do so nicely. I was shocked that so many people on this forum couldn't understand or didn't know about monkeys and AA's, so it's probable that this teacher doesn't know either.
Keep us posted. It's always good to hear how other parents of transracial kids work out problems like these. Sending positive vibes your way. :)
I'm confused about the monkey thing myself-with all the kids store having a "monkey line" (gymboree, childrens place) I would never buy any of the onsies-but at least 2 AA associates (early 20's I think) try to sell me a shirt w/ a monkey on it & I'm CC holding my AA baby I have to tell them it's offensive & they seem shocked. Yesterday I saw a young AA family w/ a toddler dressed at a monkey. It may be an older generation thing (it is history, I know) that this younger generation doesn't seem to know or care to know.If your daughter loves the role of monkey I'm not sure what I'd do - if there haven't been any other questionable things at this dance school & the teachers are young I may let it go-if they are over 30/40 I'd say something.
This is a tough one. As mentioned by a PP, some people are unaware of the association and some in the younger generation seem clueless and just don't care. I was in a similar situation myself. DD was in The Wizard of Oz and I let her play any role she wanted EXCEPT the monkey. While the kids were trying out for various roles I sent Daddy a text and asked what he thougt. He sent back two words...NO WAY! She didn't understand (she was 5 at the time) and it was too deep to explain to her so I just told her I would tell her later which satisfied her at the time and she hasn't said anything since. If you're not comfortable ask if she can be assigned a different role. You are going to have a whole life of this type of stuff whether it be intentional or overt it's best to confront it now. Good luck!
bethy724
I'm confused about the monkey thing myself-with all the kids store having a "monkey line" (gymboree, childrens place) I would never buy any of the onsies-but at least 2 AA associates (early 20's I think) try to sell me a shirt w/ a monkey on it & I'm CC holding my AA baby I have to tell them it's offensive & they seem shocked. Yesterday I saw a young AA family w/ a toddler dressed at a monkey. It may be an older generation thing (it is history, I know) that this younger generation doesn't seem to know or care to know.
If your daughter loves the role of monkey I'm not sure what I'd do - if there haven't been any other questionable things at this dance school & the teachers are young I may let it go-if they are over 30/40 I'd say something.
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If its a barrel of monkeys and there is more than one monkey, yes, I think you are being oversensitive. If she is the only monkey, then no- you are not being to sensitive and you should say something to the teacher. Also, if this is an extracurricular activity, maybe you can find something a little more diverse when the show is over.