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Something that works fairly well in our house for school issues is "if you dont want to work at school, you will work at home". They have an E, G, S, N, U behavior chart that gets sent home daily. Anything lower than E = workbook pages. The worse the behavior, the more work that must be done. Nothing else happens (except dinner, and bedtime) until the pages are done - no tv, playing, etc.
Behavior in class is markedly improved this year, and doing workbook pages has resulted in being ahead of all the other kids in her grade at her school! We have math, time, money, and reading workbooks at her grade level. It does mean that we need to sit down and help her through them, but I think the one on one time helps her as well.
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Everybody has a currency and you need to find his. It can be a favorite food, a TV show, a video game, playing with friends, etc. When you find that, you use it as the leverage to help him choose the correct behavior. You can go so far as to take everything away if necessary and I mean everything down to the bed. Good behavior gets good rewards. Bad behavior gets removal of treasured items/currency. If it comes down to coming home from school and only being able to do homework and sit in the room alone only coming out to eat and then to bed, it will get tiring really fast.
icehockey101
Something that works fairly well in our house for school issues is "if you dont want to work at school, you will work at home". They have an E, G, S, N, U behavior chart that gets sent home daily. Anything lower than E = workbook pages. The worse the behavior, the more work that must be done. Nothing else happens (except dinner, and bedtime) until the pages are done - no tv, playing, etc.
Behavior in class is markedly improved this year, and doing workbook pages has resulted in being ahead of all the other kids in her grade at her school! We have math, time, money, and reading workbooks at her grade level. It does mean that we need to sit down and help her through them, but I think the one on one time helps her as well.
It sounds like this has worked for you, but it would not be something I would recommend normally. I don't like the idea of using learning as a punishment. I don't want my kids to associate math, reading, writing with being in trouble and being bad.
I understand that it has had a benefit for your child in that she is now ahead of the class, but it can have unintended deleterious effects as well. You don't want your kids resenting school work and learning.
I never really even liked the "writing sentences" punishment, and have never used it.
I might send a child to a room with books in it, and if it results in reading then fine. But the reading itself is not the punishment, the being confined to the room is.
Sounds like a solid plan though the child has no room to err at all through her whole day. I'm guessing that E being the highest is Excellent and I think on some level there should be room for a kid to have an oops now and then without being punished.
icehockey101
Something that works fairly well in our house for school issues is "if you dont want to work at school, you will work at home". They have an E, G, S, N, U behavior chart that gets sent home daily. Anything lower than E = workbook pages. The worse the behavior, the more work that must be done. Nothing else happens (except dinner, and bedtime) until the pages are done - no tv, playing, etc.
Behavior in class is markedly improved this year, and doing workbook pages has resulted in being ahead of all the other kids in her grade at her school! We have math, time, money, and reading workbooks at her grade level. It does mean that we need to sit down and help her through them, but I think the one on one time helps her as well.
:thanks: :thanks:
This is so great! I joined this site this morning and am very thankful for all the helpful advise.
I should also let you know that my wife and I both work in the boys classrooms 4 days a week. We are very much in touch with their teachers. I work 2 days a week from 9-12 and my wife works on alternate days, same time.
I totally agree that my endless dialogue must stop. I must confess that it easier than I thought to get sucked in to the bickering back and forth. I generally dont do that. Beginning now, things are going to change. Our minds are reeling with ideas having to do with the charts that were mentioned. My FS and I are going to make the 5 mile hike to school in the morning. When my wife asked him to get his clothes, backpack etc. ready, he just shrugged his shoulders as if nothing will happen. He will be surprised in the morning. :bullwhip:
I have to go... I have 4 hours of beauty sleep to get before I ruin my sons morning.... I truly love him.....all of them...
By the way.... all four children are siblings. As of a week ago Monday, were waiting on the Judge to see if he/she will terminate the mothers rights to the kids. Truly a sad situation, but the mother was given sooooooooo many oppertunities in the past year and half and yet she still does not have a grip on reality. I say all this because I know this is only the beginning of a hard reality for the kids if they rule against the Mother. My wife and I have been asked if we would adopt all four, to which we said YES! The older 6 yr old says he loves us and our home, but wants to go home to his real Mom. The younger says he loves us and wants us as his Mom and Dad. We will see what the Lord has in store.
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Bumping this up...would love to hear how this morning went. You have a great attitude! It's clear how invested you are in these kids and dedicated to doing whatever it takes. Kudos to you and DW!
Hello again...:cowboy:
The walk this morning went pretty well. We got up at 5am. We had breakfast, got ready and headed out the door by 5:50. The walk is 5 miles. It was dark and chilly, about 38 degrees. We got about half when he wanted me to carry his backpack. Of coarse, the answer had to be "no" and that he had made a choice (albeit, a bad one). He wrestled with his back pack the rest of the way. We did take a potty break and a sit down break at a local grocery store thats 4 miles away. He wanted to sit longer, but we drove on so we wouldnt be late....Thats when he started to complain about his ankle hurting. I watch him and his behavior as we walked. When he saw something that really caught his fancy, he would run and jump and get excited. Then, 10 minutes would pass and the complaining would begin again. Today is piano lesson day. My wife picks up the boys and takes them to their lesson. When they got home, he mentioned his ankle....but not the 2 hours before. Still, she looked him over just to be sure.
We will walk again tomorrow. It is supposed to be about 28 degrees by morning. Only this time, his brother wants to come. He too has been in trouble on the bus, but not as much as his older brother. I am thinking that if I take the younger one along, it may squelch any further mis-behavior... and prevent me from having to do this with him later:bullwhip:
Alright..... its going on 1am and I need to be up by 5.
Gotta go!!:happydance:
dad101
:thanks: :thanks:
. As of a week ago Monday, were waiting on the Judge to see if he/she will terminate the mothers rights to the kids. Truly a sad situation, but the mother was given sooooooooo many oppertunities in the past year and half and yet she still does not have a grip on reality.
Whoa...TPR was last week? That explains a lot. Here's a kid who is seriously grieving. Things will probably calm down as he comes to grip with this, but it's a serious time, and some acting out is to be expected.
Well, we have one young lady that is as tough as nails. She spent time yesterday picking rocks (gravel) up out of our round pen and putting them in a 5 gallon bucket for having issues at school. This is the second time she has had to do this because we are running out of things that need done. :) If you need to trim your hedges then make him pick up the clippings or weed the flower bed. To me this gives the kids time to reflect on what they have done and is such a boring thing they don't want to do it again. I can't wait for the kids to be big enough to have to move hay bales. :)
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