single mom considering adoption for my two year old

Call social services in your county and inquire about respite care - from what I dug up online, there is something in your state called the California Child Care Initiative Project, which allows parents to temporarily place their child in the care of another...here's a technical, but informative description of what's apparently available to you in the state of CA: In addition to the services described in Section 8212,

a child care resource and referral program, established to serve a

defined geographic area, may provide short-term respite child care.

"Short-term respite care," for purposes of this article, means

temporary child care services to do any of the following:

(1) Provide services to families identified and referred by child

protective agencies.

(2) Relieve the stress caused by child abuse, neglect, or

exploitation, or the risk of abuse, neglect, or exploitation.

(3) Assist parents who, because of serious illness or injury,

homelessness, or family crisis, including temporary absence from the

home because of illness or injury, would be unable without assistance

to provide the normal care and nurture expected of parents.

(4) Provide temporary relief to parents from the care of children

with exceptional needs.

(b) Pursuant to the delivery of short-term respite child care

services, priority shall be given for the provision of services to

families identified and referred by child protective agencies From what you've written here, it sounds like your situation likely falls under #3. I also located a number of agencies in CA that offer short-term respite care. You can do a Google search for something like "respite/child care agencies" along with your city and state abbreviation and see what comes up. I agree with others that it sounds like you want to continue parenting, but need a break and some assistance with health/emotional issues, among other things. I'd take advantage of services offered to you in an effort to continue parenting.