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So our match failed. She didn't even tell us she went into the hospital. I saw a photo on her facebook page with her daughter holding the baby. I then called the hospital and asked for her room. They said she checked out yesterday.
I'm ok. I'm not angry with her other then I wish she had called. It would have saved us time. It was so odd looking at this baby that we named, knowing that she won't be part of our family. I know there was a risk the whole time but still:( A small part of me believed this would work.
I'm so sorry to hear this. We had the same thing happen to us-right up to the mom not telling us she had delivered the baby. She didn't call us or the agency either. I found out about it on her myspace. Hugs to you because I know how deceived you must feel that she didn't let you know.
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We had the same thing happen to us with our first match. She had the baby but never told the agency. Finally, they called her OB and she had delivered the week before.
I am so sorry that this happened to you!!! (((HUGS))) I know how hard it is when it happens.
Chrissy
I'm so sorry to hear that!! Here's sending hugs your way. It's tough to go through that.
Allow yourself to grieve and let it go. pm me anytime for anything.
(((((HUGS)))))
As you said in a previous thread, maybe she wasn't your baby, maybe the time just wasn't right. Everything happens for a reason, I'm keeping your family in my prayers. I have no clue what you are going thru but try to remain sane as Oceanica said, take your time to grieve, and then go give your family a ton of love.
I am so sorry that this did not work out as you had hoped. I hope that the baby is well cared for and loved which by the tone of your other posts it appears the bfamily will be supportive.
I hope that your agency will put any costs incurred towards another placement.
I will say though, you just never know how these things have a way of working out. Maybe Bmom wanted time with baby alone without anything adoption related and she may eventually call the agency.
You seem to have a pretty good handle on things in facing the reality that this may not work out though it still hurts.
I pray that the baby that is meant to fill your arms finds you.
EZ
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Again, so sorry it worked out this way. The only advice I can give you to help in the next several weeks is to take care of yourself. I thought I was fine when we went through our failed match this past summer, but DH knew differently and he pushed me to get help dealing with the situation. That help made all the difference.
(((((((HUGS))))))))
Sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped. Let yourself grieve the loss, but remember you just haven't found your baby yet. Sending out positive vibes to this new little human and her family...and to YOU as well. Hang in there.
Many of us have had really tough situations that didn't work out. It's so hard to imagine a particular baby joining your family and then it doesn't happen. Hang in there...if you keep yourself open to other possibilities...something will work out for you!
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I'm so sorry. Don't feel guilty that you were disappointed! She should have called you, and I get upset when this happens to PAP's...as if our emotions don't matter. Of course she had the right to parent, and you know that, but you also have a right be to treated with respect and courtesy too.
Good Luck. Take time to grieve if you need to and then move on and find your baby!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I agree with aclee - you deserved to hear this news from her. With our failed match, the mother sent us a text message the day before she had planned to sign TPR.
Our son was placed with us 2 months later. It will happen for you :)
I am so sorry to hear this.
Sometimes I have to remind myself to trust God plan, especialy when it does not match up with my plan.
I am so sorry to hear this. We had a situation where we travelled to emom's state, picked her up in the morning and took her to the hospital for her planned c-section. Right before she went into surgery she hugged me and told me I would see our baby in just a bit. However, when the baby was born she refused to let us see the baby, refused to talk to us or the social workers about it. We were just sitting in the lobby stunned and confused and devestated. I can imagine how you are feeling right now. I believe you deserved the courtesy of being told that she had decided to parent. I wish you all the best in your adoption journey.
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