Greetings,
I'm a single, 41 year old teacher, hoping to adopt a child - any gender, any race - domestic or international. I have not gotten much encouragement from the two local agencies I've contacted. I've heard that most countries are not very open to singles, and domestically single women are not frequently picked by birth mothers.
Does any have any guidance for me? I'm located in Wisconsin.
I'd greatly appreciate any advice anyone has to offer.
Thanks much!
Elsa
I fost-adopted all 4 of mine. Try fostering (if you're up to it). I adopted mine after fostering them.
I am single and adopted through my local DSS office - while they give you very discouraging information - my first two calls were for newborns.
I fostered three children. One whom I was told I would be able to adopt as he was in my home (and heart) for four years (age 21 mos to 6 yrs old). He was reunited with his Biological family in Aug 2010. Thankfully I still get to see him and he's with me one weekend a month. I now keep my foster certification only in the event he needs to come into care. When he was reunited I went to private adoption. Brought my son home 5 mos after "going in the book" (see timeline below).
Will PM you my agency name. FYI, I'm an AA single woman...that almost certainly contriubuted to my fast match.
Good luck.
Lots of talk about what older adults want because after all everybody wants to be a parent.
Really, fail? because no agency has provided a child--and from some posts, must be an infant==when YOU want one?
With all due respect, it may not be that the OP is single, but that there is the expectation that when the desire for a child has been born to their natural parents, expressed and a child has not been relinquished to the OP, it's not about the PAP being single, it's about something else.
Patsymae, this is page is for Single Adoptive Parent Support!
This is a very old thread but I just went back and looked at all of the posts. I don't see anyone feeling "entitled" or that they are "owed" a baby somehow. I see people who want to be moms (nothing wrong with that!).
I remember well the pain and frustration of waiting to be chosen and feeling that I'd never be a mom. Please try to have some empathy. No one here is saying that they are entitled to or owed anything. They are just expressing their hopes/dreams and pain and frustration. No one here needs to be made to feel wrong for wanting what almost all people want. It's not as if people are talking about coercing expectant moms or saying that they are "better" than expectant moms.
Again, please try to have some empathy and offer support (on a support thread after all).
Patsymae
Lots of talk about what older adults want because after all everybody wants to be a parent.
Really, fail? because no agency has provided a child--and from some posts, must be an infant==when YOU want one?
With all due respect, it may not be that the OP is single, but that there is the expectation that when the desire for a child has been born to their natural parents, expressed and a child has not been relinquished to the OP, it's not about the PAP being single, it's about something else.
I don't want to sound like I'm bashing, especially when someone has already addressed this, because that is not my intent. However, I think it can often be hard for people to understand the whole single parent adoption "thing," and I know it is often hard to look beyond our own perception and experience.
The OP is asking (from my reading) if it is even possible for her to adopt, since she has been told she isn't going to be chosen. Many of us have been told that, and it is a very difficult thing to hear. It is also not true, but what is true is that it often does take longer for singles to adopt, and we have to deal with the pain of rejection over and over, not because someone is choosing to parent but because we are being told (or perceiving we are being told) that we are "not good enough." I also didn't see any responses that look like entitlement. I didn't even really see a huge amount of frustration, though frustration with the process is normal and natural.
I thought hard about posting because, like I said, I didn't want to come across as bashing, defensive, what have you. However, there are people who come to this forum (like the OP) who aren't sure if it is possible or ok to want to adopt as a single person, and I don't want anyone who might come across this looking for support to feel unwelcome. Think of it as someone going to the birth mother's support forum when their child's adoption has been finalized and talking about how the decision was really hard and they are in pain and maybe even regret making that decision or wish they could take it back. Would you expect an AP to post that they should just stop because they have already made the choice and just get over it? That would be both cruel and not in the spirit of the forum, because it is about providing support. I'm sure you didn't intend your post to come across that way, but to someone who is struggling with the waiting and hoping, it could very likely be extremely hurtful to be told that wanting to adopt is acting entitled.
HI I also would love to know the name of your agency that you worked with.thank you
Liz Hinlein
Single mom to be LA
My cousin used Creating Christian Families/Mother Goose Adoptions as a single woman.
We both also used Gloria Hawk for adoption guidance. Her services are not inexpensive, but my cousin had her son in her arms in 5 months and we had our daughter in 7 months.
It can be done!! Good Luck!
KAA2509
My cousin used Creating Christian Families/Mother Goose Adoptions as a single woman.
We both also used Gloria Hawk for adoption guidance. Her services are not inexpensive, but my cousin had her son in her arms in 5 months and we had our daughter in 7 months.
It can be done!! Good Luck!
HI - so if I am Jewish can I still contact Gloria? And what state is she located in?
thanks!
Liz
KAA2509
My cousin used Creating Christian Families/Mother Goose Adoptions as a single woman.
We both also used Gloria Hawk for adoption guidance. Her services are not inexpensive, but my cousin had her son in her arms in 5 months and we had our daughter in 7 months.
It can be done!! Good Luck!
HI - so if I am Jewish can I still contact Gloria? And what state is she located in?
thanks!
Liz
I dont know if i am at the right place but i think everyone and anywhere deserves to hear this.If you are not interested
please ignore.People,the state and parent have made adoption to look like its all about the money but i challenge that
fact.We now give more preference to those who are capable of taking care of them with money than those capable of taking
care of them with love which is what leads.I dont know if you are one of them but do not contact to insult or discourage
because this little Angel needs a home as soon as possible due to very obvious reasons and probable loss of parents so
please if you are interested please you can get to me for more information via email or phone at (302) 217-3041 and
<revterence0@gmail.com>. Thanks and please good and loving and God fearing hearts only.
I dont know if i am at the right place but i think everyone and anywhere deserves to hear this.If you are not interested please ignore.People,the state and parent have made adoption to look like its all about the money but i challenge that fact.We now give more preference to those who are capable of taking care of them with money than those capable of taking care of them with love which is what leads.I dont know if you are one of them but do not contact to insult or discourage because this little Angel needs a home as soon as possible due to very obvious reasons and probable loss of parents so please if you are interested please you can get to me for more information via email or phone at (302) 217-3041 and <revterence0@gmail.com>. Thanks and please good and loving and God fearing hearts only.