Adoption Agencies and background checks

Check out the posting two above yours. I thought the author gave out great information. Even gave her adoption agency pointers on how to run a background check. Thanks for the tip, I'll search for the list. So a question on the free seminar. We attended a few of these and did not get many questions answered. The speaker either did not know the answer or deterred the question to agency staff. Any tips for getting your answers quickly?

Sorry, but that has been our experience. We have several (5 and courting ) adoption agencies tell us if we don't have $60,000 sitting in our saving account, don't even apply.

Well that info is not given to emoms. And you need to get away from those agencies! We had nothing CLOSE to that in the bank and had no problems or judgments! :) Maybe because our agency is small, or the fact that the founder was the one giving the seminar. She said she hadn't given one in YEARS but her normal lady called out sick.

I have never heard any mother say they got any info on the prospective parents except the profile. And when you stop and think about that for a minute and switch it up... When you are a parent you need to assign guardians for your children incase something happens to you. How much info do you think YOU would need to make a decision from a selection of profiles. Mothers today are not given the amount of info any parent would require before making a decision of such magnitude. Parents on the other had SHOULD have their lives turned inside out - you are being chosen to raise a child through adoption - sometimes even that oversight is not enough to prevent abusive parents from adopting. Children are harmed and some even killed. There is a completely justifiable reason for prospective parents to be scrutinized. The mother should not be subject to having her privacy violated by an agency or people who wish to adopt her child. Look for baby born situtations - no one is forcing you to pay pre-birth expenses or to match before the child is born. Regards,Dickons

Well said, Dickons. :)

I agree with JCM.

This is not normal. In fact it's really weird. I sent you a PM.

I wanted to clarify that the prospective emom in this situation was asking for housing and other things. I believe that is why the background check came into play- because she was being given assistance. The more we learned about our situation and the process in general, the more comfortable we felt with a baby born. And, like some of the other posters mentioned, it gives the birthmother the opportunity after birth to make the right decision for her. Because our girls were in the hospital for so long, we had the chance to get to know their birthmother, and I value that time and chance to be with her more than anything. I know that is probably not typical of baby born situations. Also, a background report and requested assistance never came into our final, real situation. I completely agree that someone should not be subjected to having her background looked into simply because she is exploring adoption- however, when someone is asking for financial assistance, I don't think it is out of line. Also, the money you are being told you need to have in savings is scary! Please be careful and best of luck to you :)

That could be a difference. I've never seen a Executive Director/founder at a seminar. One of the seminars we attended was more like a show. They had three different projectors flashing photos of children on three different walls and the person giving the presentation was a marketing specialist from their advertising service provider :(

We are definitely getting a different story. Several of the agencies are advocating very open adoptions. I was told that emoms have access to our profile letter and our home-study, our homes(i.e Meeting in our homes before and after placement of the child). Our home-study has very personal information in it and that emoms can request it. Another member of this group as recommended that an attorney hold the home-study to prevent accidental release of private information. I'm thinking this is a very good idea. This would provide a safety mechanism to prevent our private information from being used against us. Lastly, my family is not child abusers/criminals/etc. Using that line of logic, why don't we outlaw adoption. :confused: I don't understand your objections to backgrounds check to all members of the adoption. Without a level playing field, you are enabling fraud.

No-one is saying your family are child abusers/criminals etc, you know we aren't. Fairly obviously though the repercussions could be potentially devastating for the child if we didn't have background checks on PAPs. I would venture to say that the majority of PAPs understand that and are more than prepared to put up with the inconvenience. As for having background checks on emoms, no-one is saying being scammed isn't awful. Of course it is. But the potential for that happening can be reduced without resorting to background checks (eg baby born, not paying unnecessary expenses etc) and, anyway, in cases where the emom wants expenses, it seems some agencies do background checks anyway according to another poster. Also, as hard as being a victim of a scam must be, it is hardly equal to what could potentially happen if we didn't have background checks on PAPs. Also, I wouldn't have thought they would give all that information out to potential emoms unless both parties were mutually in agreement. Just because the emom can request information, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be given to them if you don't wish that. I agree with other APs on here that you definitely should look around to see what else is out there. Perhaps you can PM some of the other APs on here from your state if you haven't done that already.

None of our home study info was given to either emom we were matched with (both 'failed' by the way, one involved fraud and the second we backed out of because we didn't feel it was in the best interest of the child). If they wanted specific information, we would have given it to them (depending on what they wanted to know), but nothing was told to them/shown to them without our consent. Whether or not an emom wants an open adoption...that's her decision, not the agency's to force. While I'm in general a fan of open adoption, I don't think it's a good idea to push the idea on any member of the triad without discussing how it should work, how issues that come up should be resolved (every relationship is different and open adoptions don't always end up being the cure all). And open adoption may not be the best choice for every situation. If you're not comfortable with eparents knowing where you live or what all the personal information in your homestudy is before you're comfortable sharing that, there are lots of agencies around that don't push that. Some people are perfectly comfortable with those conditions, but if you're not, you don't want to walk into a situation where your agency is promising emoms the moon so they'll pick you to adopt. That's not fair to you, the child, or the emom. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but none of the information you're giving is making any sense. It does not seem like normal process...at least not normal to what we went through and not normal to anyone else I've seen on this site, or others that I've talked to about their experiences. It's not like we got a homestudy done then just said "Hello world, come look at all this stuff about me!"

Aptly put usisarah, nothing sounds ANYTHING like what we went through, or anybody that I know has gone through. These sound like the types of agencies that give adoption a bad name. Sound a whole lot like baby brokers. Ran fast and far OP! No seminar for trying to adopt a human being should feel like a hard sell. Hell, I don't even know if our agency HAS a marketing division, and if it does, that's pretty creepy. The types of places the OP has outlined have the hallmarks of unethical behavior written all over them. I am still trying to wrap my head around an emom being privy to our home study. DD's first mom saw our letter and adoption book...that's it. Had she requested more info, we may have given it to her, on a case by case basis. The types of agencies the OP is describing sound like the places that promise quick placements. And by all accounts, I have heard they do that...but at a cost. Both financially and ethically. Our agency was upfront with us, it would be a one to three year wait. Our happened much faster than the average wait time, but only because we were so open on basically everything: race, (not allowed to request gender at our agency), HIV positive (can be reversed in infants), Hep A, B, C, prenatal drug use (but not much alcohol use at all), mental disorders (except schizophrenia).

I've known hundreds of birth mothers throughout the years, and I've yet to meet ONE who has been given access to the homestudy conducted on PAPs...profiles, yes...homestudies, no. I also have not heard of any reputable agency ever charging $60,000 for an adoption in the United States. That figure is ludicrous, and if that's what your agency or lawyer is really charging you, then find another agency quickly, because you're being swindled.

Raven, I did not take the OP to mean that the adoption was going to cost $60k...just that they had to have that much in savings...as in to show financial stability maybe? Maybe the OP did mean it would cost that much. If so, they are being swindled. If it was just meant to be a way to show financial stability, that's still way high. Very few people have that kind of CASH on hand. Assets (equity in house, etc) maybe, but not cash.