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Now, I know that I'm looking far on down the road, and there are a lot of things that have to happen between now and then, but...it is looking like we will have the opportunity to adopt our DFS. The sad thing is, he is one of a sibling group of 4, and the other 3 kids are in a therapeutic placement. IF the case goes to adoption, I have pondered whether we would be able to take his youngest sibling - his 3yo sister.
Though I obviously know more about DFS, having lived with him for 6mos, I can tell that both kids have some attachment/trust issues (to be expected), but, of all of the kids, DFS and his sister are the MOST BONDED. He worries about her and she about him. During visits, they gravitate towards each other and are basically inseparable. The older two brothers, while they *try* to be protective, are basically outsiders. IF we were able to adopt any of DFS's siblings, I think the priority (from my perspective) would be to try to adopt his sister.
Now, after reading other threads, I'm terrified that, somewhere down the road, we will see RAD (or at least, serious attachment issues). I *know* they will have issues trusting and attaching to us. But, since they are so strongly attached to each other - genuine smiles & immediate relieve when they see each other, worry about each other when they are apart, etc - should I take that as a good sign, that they can attach to others, too - eventually? I mean real, honest attachments?
Please do not think that I would intentionally want to separate DFS from his siblings...but their needs (or, at least the needs of the older two) are very, very complex, and they will likely need to be only children, or adopted together as a group of 2. They have been abusive towards DFS and their sister and both of the younger siblings would probably be much better off in different placements. I'm just terrified about possibly requesting that the sister be placed with us, knowing relatively little about her (as compared to DFS)...and now finding out that RAD might not be apparent for YEARS.
Thoughts? Do you think I would *sense* RAD by now? Or, from what I have described, does it sound like a possibility (or not)?