Advice for 42 year old

Hey good luck to you, from another elderly!! My 3rd daughter was adopted when I just turned 40 and now I'm 42. (I keep forgetting my age but I think I'm 42.. yeah. As you can see the dementia is kicking in!!) Anyway, I don't know about your agency... it could be that they don't have a lot of emoms/placements. Many emoms want an older mom to adopt their baby for various reasons. We used a local attorney and adopted 3 babies in less than 2 years. It all depends on who and how many emoms there are. SO you'll have to do your research and decide. I hope all goes well... now dealing with babies as an older mom may be a different story!! Actually they may keep me feeling young although it's a little different to have young children while all your peers are sending theirs off to college or parenting older teens. I don't think I would click very well with many of the young moms with babies. But none of that matters much anyway.... you are going to do great!! Keep me posted on your progress. :-)

I'm 41, and our son came home with us a week and a half ago. We used a local consulting agency, that ended up linking us to a national agency. We did not actually "meet" our case worker until the day our son was discharged from the hospital. However during the time we worked with her, we talked with her every two or three days, emailed or texted the other days. She was always very responsive, and I felt as if I knew her before we actually met. Funny enough, the expectant mom we were matched with gave birth just an hour away from where we live. . .and age was never an issue for her. I agree with Oceanica that maybe your agency does not have as many emoms. We actually were using multiple agencies (that did not require fees unless matched) so that we could be shown to more emoms. Maybe a bigger agency would give you this opportunity as well. Good luck!

Older than most on the board......dh and I went back to adopting infants at the ripe age of 46.......we adopted our fourth baby at the age of 52. (We have two children, adopted as infants that are now grown and on their own.) Don't let the age thing bother you. I suspect your agency is out of touch with this as older parents adopting is becoming more the norm; and heaven knows, you're NOT that old at all!!!!! I don't know what type of baby you're hoping for........but I DO have a couple of suggestions for two agencies in KY if you'd like to pm me and I'll send it to you. While we never adopted with them, they were very pleasant to work with and they kept our profile on hand without having to pay fees to do so. Good luck! Sincerely, Linny

The LBs : Hi, and heartfelt congratulations, on becoming a mother!! I am new here, and am interested in finding placement agencies that are able/willing to post a profile for a.parents without a fee, until a match is made. Can you recommend such agencies that worked with you in this way, or suggest a way to locate these entities? Thank you, and best of everything to you and your new family!

We Brought Our Angel Home 3 Years Ago When I Was 46 And My Husband Was 47, We Lived In Tn And Used An Agency In Baton Rouge,la. Good Luck And I Would Use Someone Else Asap!!!

I just turned 42 in February. I'm working with 3 agencies (one local and 2 national). I've been waiting awhile (close to 2 years since officially starting the process). I think the waiting has more to do with the fact that I'm single than my age. You will definitely be able to adopt! Like others have said,I recommend using an agency or facilitator that works with a lot of expectant moms. You want your profile to have a lot of exposure.

Hi, it sounds like alot of you were able to adopt domestically. I always thought/heard that moms would not pick older women. My husband is 33 and I am 47, do you think we may have a chance to adopt in the US or should we go international? Thanks so much. Julia

Yes, I think you have a good chance to adopt. Just like most things in life, every situation is different. Adoption is no less so. Going simply from what you've written here, I think you have a very good chance to adopt a baby. :) Sincerely, Linny

I think you have a very good chance also, I have spoken with many agencies and almost none of them felt that age was much of a factor. I am 47 and my husband is 40. We have already been selected by expectant moms twice, but had to decline - once due to cost and once because we felt the woman was way to early in pregnancy to be selecting potential adoptive parents. But our profile hasn't been ignored either which is good!

Linny and Misstippy, Thanks so much for your replies and encouragement. I will start to contact Michigan agencies and adoption lawyers to see what they say. ;)

I am 44. We decided to go a different route which doesn't work for everyone - we decided to become licensed foster parents under a "foster to adopt" plan. We had a 3 month old baby placed with us almost 2 1/2 years ago and are just getting close to finally being able to adopt her. Another child, 11 months old, was placed with us about 1 1/2 years ago and don't expect her adoption to be finalized for about 4 more months. It can be a heartbreaking route because you never know if it will become permanent - they can take a good guess based on history but it's never for sure. We've had a lot of nailbiting moments. The state actually terminated parental rights once for the 3 month old but after an appeal were forced to start completely over with the process after a year. After a lot of mistakes, it looked like the birth mom was going to be reunified and was allowed to start weekly visits after the child turned 2 (with no previous effort to reunify prior to then). It wasn't until after the birth mom saw the child and I together that she made the personal decision to surrender her rights. She didn't seem to have any issue with my age, just the relationship and opportunities her child was being given. The other child's mother recently voiced her intent to surrender after meeting me with the child. I've received no indication from the state that age is a significant factor. They only seem to worry whether a protential parent is likely to live through the child's childhood. I can relate to oceanica, having difficulty relating to all of the young parents. I'm sure many of them wonder if we are grandparents so it leads to a little insecurity and isolation but nowadays there are also many grandparents and even great grandparents who are parenting all over again. I wish you the best with your decisions. Sounds like you have quite a few options.

I cannot believe that I originally posted on this thread two weeks after my son came home, and now I have a not-so-little one who took two steps without holding onto anything this week! Time flies! I just wanted to comment about the "young" parents. In my office, 4 of us have had children enter our families in the last 18 months-either biologically or through adoption. All of us are over 36, and two of us are over 40...four of my high school classmates had babies within the last year (that i know of...) For two of them, it is their first child. Even my best friend (who I met in kindergarten, so my same age) has a youngest who is just 5. There are a lot of us out here! I hope the OP is having better luck than she was when she originally posted.