Attention seeking driving me crazy!

Both of my kids have an attatchment disorder and ADHD. My son is also dx ODD. I totally understand what you mean. My dd will stand there watching me put a frozen pizza into the oven and ask "What are we having for dinner?" I have used the "pickle" strategy as well. (only I use clown instead because it comes out really funny!) I don't think there is anything wrong with using strategies like that to keep your sanity. I also don't buy into the theories out there that paint my kids as little control freaks who do anything they can to avoid attatchment. Even controlling adults have a reason for being the way they are. They are trying to sooth some kind of emotion inside of them and that emotion is fear. (ie. If I don't control every aspect of my life, including the people around me, something really bad is going to happen) IMHO, I can't ease my kids fears by sending them away from me. If I am afraid, I want my husband close by. I want someone to be understanding with me...compassionate. That doesn't mean they have to put up with me controlling them, lying about them, lying to them etc. But, I would hope that they would love me enough to not push me away or try to control me back. I hope that explains my thoughts. I am on a journey here, just like everyone else. I just know that this "my kids are evil little manipulators" mentality has done nothing but damage in my family. (and I am not saying that you think that way, just that the theory is very prevalent in the adoption world.)