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I knew that when SweetPea moved from the 2yo to 3 yo class I would see a change in her behavior.
She has been in her "new" class for about a month and her tantrums and behavior have me at wits end!
Her teacher, my co-worker, constantly gripes about how the kids can't do anything for themselves and don't listen to her when she attempts to redirect them to the correct behavior.
That being said, DD has been potty trained since long befor she turned 3. She is fully capable of wiping herself and has been doing so for quite awhile.
I told her teacher that.
She moved up and all of a sudden at hom she is REFUSING to get get off the potty because "Mrs. __________ wipes my bottom for me."
I talked to her teacher several times about it and finally it took me almost yelling "She can wipe her own vajayjay and bottom." For her to stop.
I talked to my boss to no avail. All she said was "That's how just Mrs______ is.
I have also walked in on DD yelling at her teacher and Mrs._______ not saying/ doing anything about it. After waiting a few seconds for some redirection or something from her teacher, I finally had to step in and tell DD it was never okay to talk to grown ups like that and she is not allowed to treat people lie that. I told her that if she was upset, she needed to find a quiet spot, where she could be alone, but she was by no means allowed to take her anger out on someone else. She started doing that " put her head back as far as it would go to achieve making the maximum amount of noise as she faked crying (no tears).
I told her that was NOT okay and sat her in time out.
Her teacher pats DD to sleep during nap even though I have told her dd falls asleep on her own and has been since before 18m old.
I ave also told her teacher to stop over-feeding my child. She will give dd 4(!!!!!!) servings of food, which in her teachers world equals anough food to fully cover her entire plate.
She said because dd has a good appetite and she's skinny, that she feels like it is okay.
I've told her that dd only needs to eat 1 serving of food and if she is still asking for more, to give her an extra cup of water instead.
This same teacher also encourages the kids to make a happy plate (grrr) while I am trying to teach dd that t is okay to stop eating when her tummy feels full.
I look at those poor kids, who look like they're about to burst, stuff themselves to make a happy plate for their teacher.
Now at home she is having a hard time going to sleep and having tantrums, which was never a problem before, yelling at me and wanting eating just to eat.
If DD throws a toy, Mrs _____ will pick it up instead of having dd do it.
I tell her teacher that I don't want her eating any sweets and she gives her candy in class as rewards for doing things she should be doing anyway like putting her toys away.
She says I'm too hard on dd for putting her in time out when she is disrespectful to adults or is rude to people.
Dd isn't a "bad" kid by any means but since she has been in her current class, her behavior is out of hand.
I have a close male friend that works there too. My dd LOVES him. We do things together on weekends. He's like a member of the family.
During naptime, he walked in the classroom to ask her teacher a question as Sweetpea was having a hard time using her listening ears.
Her teacher told her "If you don't lie down and be still, Mr._________ isn't going to be your friend anymore.:eek: :eek:"
Yeah, tell this to a child whose only contant positive male role model is him :( . The others live out of town.
Her teacher told my friend that she was no longer going to tell me when dd misbehaves because she doesn't want her to get in trouble (redirection, time out, special privledges taken away).
Two seconds later she's complaining that parents don't do anythig to correct appropriate behavior.
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as far as the food thing goes....get your doctor on board. when our doctor found out our 3 year old was getting 3 0r 4 servings of goldfish at snack twice a day, he put a stop to that. (preschool said he was asking for mutiple servings so they would give him as much as he wanted :( ) he encouraged us to send in a healthy snack to supplement and was willing to write a note, but it didn't get that far. when we told the preschool his doctor said they needed to limit his carbs during the day, they began just giving him 1 helping of snack, and if he wanted more to eat they give him the fruit we send.
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She seem like an okay teacher to me.I have yet to see a kid wipe there self at 3 years old,get everything clean,so I would wipe.Also the food thing,does she force them to eat,or do they ask,she gives.Because when a kid askes for food,I give.I don't give them much sweets,also don't force kids,like the mother would like me to do.The over all picture,is she a good teacher,over all.Also your kid will get the point,that you wont let her do thing,her teacher lets her do.Also I don't see the bigdeal about the pating on the back,while she naps.If the teacher is so bad,maybe find another teacher or school.
I don't think there's much you can do about her being allowed to talk back in class; people have different ideas about discipline. As far as the wiping issue goes, the teacher is out of line in undermining youryour daughters' progress in potty-training. It may be that it's quicker for her (the teacher) to do the wiping and that's what's behind it.
Her comment about your friend was WAY out of line and very inappropriate.
I would focus on getting the teacher to change her behavior on the potty issue. Be nice and apologetic about it ("I know it's probably faster if you do it, but we're REALLY working on that skill at home...")
If you hear of her making similar comments like the one regarding your friend, I would act on it. Try to enlist other parents and see what they think.
And I hate myself for mentioning this, but I can't help it because it's something that really bugs me: it's a 'vagina'. Your daughter doesn't use cute words for 'elbow' or 'shoulder' or 'nose' - why say 'vajayjay', etc., as if the real word is something to be embarassed about?
Ok, my view will not be popular... But my honest opinion is get her OUT of that class. My DD was at prestigious daycare / school from 6mo - 3 yr. Her behavior escalated around 2 yrs - 3yrs ( normal time for them to test / act out etc) BUT due to teachers way of handling for that age group it wasn't handled properly in my opinion. She was completely potty trained @ home @ 18 mo, but not at daycare. She was given extra helpings (2 or 3 @ lunch) Since it was supposed to be such a good school, I didn't react immediately until the lack of discipline caused her behavior to escalate and she was asked to be "removed" from the daycare. Then it took awhile to get this behavior back under control. Because it was "allowed" to hit / talk back / bite / be out of control... she carried this to the next daycare and I voluntarily removed her since daycare wouldn't work w/ me closely. 3rd try was a charm and was in line w/ my expectations and kept me involved. She is still not a "model" student but behavior is "acceptable" and she is in kindergarten. Since I had a "gut" feeling that 2-3 yr old teacher wasn't the right fit for us, I wish like everything I had listened to my gut and removed DD b4 all that started. I know u work there so this will create conflict but I still think u should try to get her moved to a different class if that is an option.
I have similar issues with my son. The thing is because of my son's past and his issues things that are not a problem for a normal kid are a problem for him. We have the opposite food problem. My son hates to eat and is underweight. However, his teachers would allow him to throw away the lunch I would send and eat nothing or only eat a couple bites of fruit. They also didn't listen when I asked them to not let him get three lunches and eat only the orange wedge of each and throw the rest away. He needs to be encouraged to eat other foods. Preferably foods with calories! When I was sending lunches I was sending shakes that were pretty expensive that the doctor wanted him drinking. He was actually asking the aid to throw them away unopened for him and she was! I had to get a note from the doctor and finally put in his IEP that I needed to know what he was eating, becuse he was telling me that he ate everything and the aid would lie for him because he was telling her that I forced him to eat tons of food. (I pushed him to eat what the doctors were requiring) He also would ask for help with things he could do himself. I taught preschool myself for a few years and I always listened to parents. If the parents wanted them to wipe themselve I let them. (after all not letting them if the parents want them to sets a teacher up for accusations with the wrong kid) Parents do know thier kids best.
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I tend to agree with the PP that says get her out of that class! It seems like the teacher is showing preferrential treatment to your DD, and I'm sure other children pick up on that and in the end it's going to cause some serious issues in that class.
I'm thankful that the daycare my children attend models a lot of the tactics we use at home with them. A 3 year old is perfectly capable of wiping themself (I will point out I hate the use of cutesy names for the genitals - to my kids its vagina and penis), my FS is 2 and half and has no problems.
Regardless of the teacher's typical behavior in the classroom, she should be open to following instructions from the parents, especially if it is causing issues, which it clearly is in your case.
Call me sinister, but I would not even bring it up had it not of happened to one of my fosters. She was molested by a female daycare worker. This woman would not allow the child to wipe herself or the other girls in the class. She would "reward" the girl by feeding her sweets and snacks to keep them quiet. She would also be over the top with affection. It wasn't until a fellow coworker came forward about her suspicions that she wad tried and convicted. If the teacher won't support you in your efforts I would remove the child.
Why do you think your child is having tantrums and yelling? There is something going on if this is persisting.
What is going on? It sounds like there is some investment in who's right.
Children who tantrum frequently do so for a reason. Either the tantrum gains them what they seek or the tantrums are being reinforced.
If the child's needs are being met without tantrums by insuring that appropriate behaviour is validated and the tantrums are ignored without fail the tantrums will decrease.
This little person seems to extremely sensitive to the dynamic between the teacher and you.
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No were I read she thought the teacher was molesting her,also she could be wiping all the kids and patting them on the back,when they nap.I have a 3 year,that can't even reach to wipe,so I still don't see the big deal.He's been a real pain to pottytrain.Also seen other kids oever 3,that don't wipe,but they all seem to be boys.