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I'm at my witts end - I feel as though I have tried everything humanly possible and I'm almost convinced that I'm in the Twilight Zone. HELP!!!
We adopted two children from Ukraine last year. A son (now 11) and a daughter (now age 10) - they both go to the neighborhood public school that I had heard was a very warm, small community and overall good school.
When we first enrolled them when they first came home we didn't want to push all to much because we knew that mostly they would be absorbing english for a while. The start of this school year was different though, over the summer they kids had learned english very well, could be understood by anyone and could communicate with no problem. We really didn't think that our "expectations" were too far out there - by asking the teachers to please send homework with our kids, so that we could know what they were working on etc. Can you imagine, ASKING teachers to actually give kids homework. I mean, wow - what were we thinking?
After meeting after meeting, still no progress. We involved the guidance couselor for first time, then the principle and when no results were gained, we added the district people. Why on earth is it so difficult to know what our kids are being taught? All we're ever been told is that because they are ESOL students (english as second language learners) they are to be given only D's anyway for the first two years. They can not be "failed", that would simply be against the law- that is for the first TWO YEARS. Our children are infact absorbing english, therefore they need no real grades.
I say - HOG WASH! My children are capable of more than only receiving D's if they only tried to see what my children were capable of. Perhaps not in all subjects, but if they have no expectations of them, then how on earth are they do know what they are doing?
I've explained in the many meetings I've been to, that by not giving our kids homework, and just to expect them to "absorb" in the classroom, they are basically maknig our family (and primarily our children) to shoot at a moving target, while blind folded, and in the dark. Still - we are told, that we need to be more patient, etc.
Then on top of it all, since our children came from some pretty sad situations in Ukraine, they both suffer from post traumatic stress disorder - and they have been diagnosed with fetal alcohol sydrome, our daughter has a huge deficit in math (a universal language) they both need testing for learning disablities etc. In stead they want us to wait it out for two years and then see how they do. Basically I feel that that path would only be setting them up for huge failure. Why would anyone want to do that to a child?
The schools' told us that there is no funding to have them tested, no IEP can be given at least for a few years - so basically they make accomodations anyway, using the ESOL as a factor.
Ok, now I know Im rambling here - but I literally dont know what to do.
Lately, our kids come home, have horrible nghtmares (they have for a long time anyway) and say they cant sleep because of the movies that they watch in school. Not only can't I understand why there seem to be countless movies during the hours our kids are suppose to be getting an education but it is definately not OK by me for my children to watch Goosebumps, Harry Potter etc if my kids are going to have such horrible nightmares. My daughter came home just the other day and said that they played the game CLUE ( a murder mystery game involving weapons such as guns, candlesticks, KNIVES etc). I was very upset especially since I had previously talked to the teachers about their past. Both kids witnessed their birth mother stab their birth father with a knife, killing him.
When I wrote a letter asking that our daughter not be allowed to play such game or watch any more movies because of the nightmares etc - her teacher got very defensive and then questions our child. Which only makes things worse.
Any advise would be grately appreciated - because right now I really hate sending them to school.
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Wow, that's nonsense that they don't have to test the kids to see which services they would truly benefit from ONLY because they're ESOL students! At the least, you'd think there would be a translator for them so they could still learn at grade level just like deaf students are provided. ??? Is there an immigrant liaison in your city where you could ask about such a service?Another idea might be to have your pediatrician refer them for neuropsych testing and/or FAS eval. That way it would be covered under medical/psychological testing (my insurance won't cover an "academic" IQ test, but will if it's to rule in/out medical/speech/auditory issues).The school would then have to accept the results and treat accordingly (especially if they aren't willing to test themselves). Find the book "From Emotions to Advocacy" at your library--and check the chapter on testing and IEPs vs. 504s.Finally, we found that we spent all of our energy fighting with teachers to get them to understand...each and every year the fight started anew!...that it was just easier to homeschool. Luckily I have a part-time job, so we can do this. But even if I didn't, we'd find a way! Life is so much more relaxed now and the kids aren't nearly as anxious and acting out as much.You could check with your area homeschool association or parent group to see if you could pay another family to teach your kids, too. Even if they have special needs, a parent with just a few kids to teach will do wonders for children who need that extra one to one help. You might also check into a local FAS group to see what those parents have done. (I'll be doing that myself, soon.) I hope these ideas help. It was a long road for us, but after "fighting the system" for 5 years, we finally took the leap and are homeschooling all 3! It can be frustrating at times when I see how far behind mine truly are and I fear that they'll never catch up. But at least now I can try to fill the gaps and we can work slower and at a calmer pace than they were in 5th, 4th, and 2nd grades in public school. :woohoo: By the way, don't worry about socialization--there's almost too much of that with all of the homeschool clubs, classes, and groups out there now! :clap:
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the public school system where i teach has a 120 day rule about testing. a student must be in country for 120 days of a school year before we test. this is to safeguard against mistakenly identifying kids as special needs when it is a language issue causing the problems.
my concerns would be primarily with the school's assertion that the kids are only to be given Ds. that seems pretty unusual. what if they received a brilliant ESL kid? then what? i'd also be concerned about the amount of time spent with movies. there is only a certain number of minutes of any movie that can be legally shown each day. it has to do with copyright kind of stuff.
i'd be visiting with the principal and then the superintendant about these things and your other concerns. i'd also be looking up school law in your state to see if you can find out the standards. then i'd contact the special education co-op or the local parents' advocacy group for help. no kid--regardless of background--should be warehoused for 2 years.
I've been down this road with a preschooler and here is the information I've gained. Not sure where you are, but push hard and tape the conversations (of course tell them you are taping it.)
First, I believe they need to provide the testing in their native language to rule out ESOL as the primary cause of the delays. Can you show that the kids were behind in Ukraine or if they tested in Ukrainian would they be behind (the answer is usually always yes). The schools then throw at you that the kids are behind due to their environment and not a learning disability. (I really did have someone tell me that if it was my bio kid the test scores would qualify them, but since she was adopted those test scores were due to environmental factors so she didn't qualify. I taped it and that is one reason the states lawyer eventually told the school to give us our services.)
If you have ANY medical reports to show that the delays are due to a medical issue they then need to test. We had a nuerologist test our daughter and they did an MRI. (Mother was alcoholic but no documentation of whether or not during birth). The MRI showed damage in the areas that impact speech, and outer limbs (for gross motor and fine motor). That combined with documenting other developmental delays were VERY difficult for the school specialists to claim that this was just environmental and time would cure all, even though they wanted to. It was still an up hill battle and I had to file suit through the states remediation process. They called me the day before the court hearing and asked what I wanted. To which I replied, OT, PT, and speech. They gave it and we never went to court.
Check your states remediation process and go that route. Good luck. It was an uphill battle, but we our daughter is now in K and really needs the supports that we were able to get in place. One example would be that she also has PTSD and for some reason is scared of the bathroom. So the third week of school she started peeing in her pants because the bathroom they were going to was too noisy. Since she has an IEP and the PTSD is documented we were able to work out the special ed person taking her to a small private bathroom several times a day so that she wouldn't be put in the situation of avoiding the bathroom so she wouldn't have an episode just to pee in her pants.