Didnt know that schools would be such a battle AFTER adoption.

As if adopting Internationally isn't hard enough - especially adopting from Ukraine... Here's what we've been going through. Any sugguestions welcome. I don't know what else to do, so here's our story: I'm at my witts end - I feel as though I have tried everything humanly possible and I'm almost convinced that I'm in the Twilight Zone. HELP!!! We adopted two children from Ukraine last year. A son (now 11) and a daughter (now age 10) - they both go to the neighborhood public school that I had heard was a very warm, small community and overall good school. When we first enrolled them when they first came home we didn't want to push all to much because we knew that mostly they would be absorbing english for a while. The start of this school year was different though, over the summer they kids had learned english very well, could be understood by anyone and could communicate with no problem. We really didn't think that our "expectations" were too far out there - by asking the teachers to please send homework with our kids, so that we could know what they were working on etc. Can you imagine, ASKING teachers to actually give kids homework. I mean, wow - what were we thinking? After meeting after meeting, still no progress. We involved the guidance couselor for first time, then the principle and when no results were gained, we added the district people. Why on earth is it so difficult to know what our kids are being taught? All we're ever been told is that because they are ESOL students (english as second language learners) they are to be given only D's anyway for the first two years. They can not be "failed", that would simply be against the law- that is for the first TWO YEARS. Our children are infact absorbing english, therefore they need no real grades. I say - HOG WASH! My children are capable of more than only receiving D's if they only tried to see what my children were capable of. Perhaps not in all subjects, but if they have no expectations of them, then how on earth are they do know what they are doing? I've explained in the many meetings I've been to, that by not giving our kids homework, and just to expect them to "absorb" in the classroom, they are basically maknig our family (and primarily our children) to shoot at a moving target, while blind folded, and in the dark. Still - we are told, that we need to be more patient, etc. Then on top of it all, since our children came from some pretty sad situations in Ukraine, they both suffer from post traumatic stress disorder - and they have been diagnosed with fetal alcohol sydrome, our daughter has a huge deficit in math (a universal language) they both need testing for learning disablities etc. In stead they want us to wait it out for two years and then see how they do. Basically I feel that that path would only be setting them up for huge failure. Why would anyone want to do that to a child? The schools' told us that there is no funding to have them tested, no IEP can be given at least for a few years - so basically they make accomodations anyway, using the ESOL as a factor. Ok, now I know Im rambling here - but I literally dont know what to do. Lately, our kids come home, have horrible nghtmares (they have for a long time anyway) and say they cant sleep because of the movies that they watch in school. Not only can't I understand why there seem to be countless movies during the hours our kids are suppose to be getting an education but it is definately not OK by me for my children to watch Goosebumps, Harry Potter etc if my kids are going to have such horrible nightmares. My daughter came home just the other day and said that they played the game CLUE ( a murder mystery game involving weapons such as guns, candlesticks, KNIVES etc). I was very upset especially since I had previously talked to the teachers about their past. Both kids witnessed their birth mother stab their birth father with a knife, killing him. When I wrote a letter asking that our daughter not be allowed to play such game or watch any more movies because of the nightmares etc - her teacher got very defensive and then questions our child. Which only makes things worse. Any advise would be grately appreciated - because right now I really hate sending them to school. I'll be back up at the school AGAIN tomorrow. This time my husband is going to try talking to them, as if he hasn't already been to countless meetings there himself. They really dont like us there as it is. At one point when I literally was begging for testing and told them that I know that our daughter has a deficit in math as she can't do simple subraction (2000 - 1000 isn't possible for her). And since math is universal no matter what country 2 + 2=4 everywhere you go, she hasn't been able to grasp it. We were even told even by the orphange workers that it was a probem for her. I've even told them how she was in an orphanage for children with nuerological illness. I've even went as far as to show them documentation. At one point the guidance counselor said to me "what makes you think you know whats best for your daughter when you have only been her parent for ten months" This was during a meeting this past October. My husband attempted to talk to them, or arrange a meeting two weeks ago, the people in the office told him that no one was available but if he left our humber that guidance or principal would definately call us back. We've never heard back. After one week or no return call, I called the head of the ESOL myself, and asked them what should I do. THey said I did everything correctly, that I had sent in a letter, I had went up there to arrange a meeting and now I must wait. How long does one wait??? So, again tomorrow - we will try again. Meanwhile, on Friday we got a note from our daughters teacher saying that she was in fact doing very well in math, that she had made an A onthe test. When I asked my daughter if I could see the test, she showed me only a peices of notebook paper, numbers one through ten, and letters - because the math test was given in multiple choice. We have no clue what the test covered etc. When we ask our daughter, she says "Oh, it was EASY - and the lady helped me with numbers 6-10" How about that! So, as you can see,... I MUST I tell you - I MUST be in the twilight zone - right?