Advertisements
These are the diagnoses of the little I am hoping to adopt (if ICPC goes through). I know a little about each one separately, has anyone dealt with these issues together?
Like
Share
I am sure several people will reply. I don't have direct in-house experience but I have a friend who had a placement with FASD and RAD and she ended up disrupting. He was VERY VERY delayed and very hard to soothe and attach. He was tantruming all of the time and believe me she was extremely therapeutic toward him, he just was a very tough case. She has his two younger sisters and worked hard to preserve the placement, but it wasn't going to work.This may not be the case for your little one... but I know she had a terrible time with him. He was moved to an only child home the mother is a therapist, the father is a special education teacher, and I know is he doing VERY well there. Best wishes to you in your journey! We're all here if you need us!
Advertisements
My DD has FAS and RAD. She is significantly behind in school and struggles with communication. She also has PDD(mild autism). It is difficult because she has RAD and also learning delays so she is a double whammy. She struggles to understand what we are saying and communicate and that just makes her attachment tougher and it tougher for us to get through to her. It isn't impossible depending on the severity of the FAS and RAD, but it definitely will be a tough road. Make sure you have a lot of help and resources if you move forward. Good Luck.
One of mine is probable FASD (we don't have written documentation from bio mom re: if she drank during pregnancy, so were told they won't consider FASD....) and for whom we did get a dx of RAD. Tough, tough, tough. Whatever you think you know, throw it out the window, go put on thumb screws, and try to function normally through the day. That should give you a taste of parenting a child with an emotional trauma and a brain trauma. Then, the next day, put thumb screws on your hands, and feet, too, and try to get through a normal day. That's how the CHILD feels. I found that once we got the sensory integration component understood (we had more than 'just' attachment and FASD) it helped. It was difficult to get through to the attachment because the FASD hampered comprehension and understanding - compounded by tactile defensiveness (the SI that we were trying to deal with). Our kiddo was young (2.5 yo) and so we were able to do a lot of attachment stuff like rocking and using a sippy cup, lots of one-on-one time and cuddling. This child is happy and attached now, but still struggles with some daily function stuff, likely due to FASD, and residual problems from neglect. (Neglect isn't an emotional OR physical abuse, it's totally and completely both, with roots that go deep and probably never go away.) It took us about 4 or 5 years to reach a place where life wasn't totally consumed by this child alone. Multiple daily tantrums that lasted a couple of hours each. Total line of sight supervision, 24/7. Day care would have been totally out of the question, and in fact is one reason this child was matched with our family. This child can now function in a room with peers, but that would not have been possible before about age 7 or so. Between his inability to tolerate touch (dysfunction of sensory integration issue), his OCD tendencies, his intolerance of any changes in the routine (ANY change brought about a meltdown - we're talking minutest change), and his need for total supervision would just have not worked in a traditional daycare/classroom setting.It looks like this little one is 3 yo? You will likely be in for many, many years of trying to parent a child who will try you to your breaking point. My kiddo needed almost total parental involvement for every waking moment (and some sleeping). I had one other child at the time and that child did get short changed. If you have more kids, consider long and hard what time you have available for this child. If you don't have other children, consider how much time you have to devote daily. Young children need constant attention; children with attachment issues require more than constant attention. FASD brings about complexities due to brain processing differences, so when you put them together it can become...interesting.
I totally agree with Barksum!! I have two children with RAD and FAS. (One of which also has SI and knowing that helps a lot.) These two also have PTSD because not only were they neglected but then for three months before coming to me were tortured by some drug addicts. These kids are amazing at how strong they are, but they still have a long way to go. The younger one was 17m at placement so he has come so far from his RAD dx. My other one was 4 at placement and now at 8 is better but it is still daily. The meeting and appointments are alone enough to make you crazy, then adapting a therapeutic parenting style you can get worn out really fast. Read as much as you can, and try to determine where on the spectrum of RAD do they fall, if it is on the higher end, know that you will be entering into an abusive relationship. It can get better for some, but unfortunately not all.
Thank you for your candor. Yes, the little is 3. Unfortunately his foster parents currently are already burnt out. There are other children in the home, but I feel as if they are trying to skirt around the issues with him. I get a lot of " but he has the loving type of RAD His attachments issues are he attaches quickly he will be fine". I have no other children, a large reason we were matched with the little... we want no other children right now either. My concern is the FAS issues with comprehension and cause and effect mixed with RAD... especially disinhibited. Also he has other genetic issues going on so I am cautiously excited. If the ICPC goes through I imagine I will be asking for loads of help. Thank you again for being so honest, I will need that from someone :).
Advertisements
akg1229
I get a lot of " but he has the loving type of RAD His attachments issues are he attaches quickly he will be fine". I have no other children, a large reason we were matched with the little... we want no other children right now either. My concern is the FAS issues with comprehension and cause and effect mixed with RAD... especially disinhibited. Also he has other genetic issues going on so I am cautiously excited.
akg1229
I get a lot of " but he has the loving type of RAD His attachments issues are he attaches quickly he will be fine". I have no other children, a large reason we were matched with the little... we want no other children right now either. My concern is the FAS issues with comprehension and cause and effect mixed with RAD... especially disinhibited. Also he has other genetic issues going on so I am cautiously excited. If the ICPC goes through I imagine I will be asking for loads of help. Thank you again for being so honest, I will need that from someone :).
This is not something we deal with, but there is a very active Yahoo! list serve group specifically for this: [FONT='Calibri','sans-serif'][url=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RAD_FASDkids]RAD_FASDkids : RAD_FASDkids[/url][/FONT][FONT='Calibri','sans-serif'][/FONT] [FONT='Calibri','sans-serif']Mary[/FONT]
Advertisements