I get a lot of " but he has the loving type of RAD His attachments issues are he attaches quickly he will be fine". I have no other children, a large reason we were matched with the little... we want no other children right now either. My concern is the FAS issues with comprehension and cause and effect mixed with RAD... especially disinhibited. Also he has other genetic issues going on so I am cautiously excited.
One RADlet can burn parents out quickly.
A child with disinhibited attachment is NOT attaching quickly. He's not attaching. Period. He's surface shopping for the adult who will best meet his demands at the current point in time. This is very dangerous, on various levels, for various reasons. Kids with RAD will say and do whatever it takes to control their environment. The closer to feeling emotional attachment to their main caregiver that they get, the more fearful they become, and the harder they work to control the environment.
When you compound this with the fetal alcohol issues, which often includes lack of stranger awareness, lack of ability to predict outcomes, being able to Say The Rule, but not Do The Rule, etc. etc., this child is going to need
constant supervision.
Now, having said all that...RAD and FASD have an almost 100% overlap in symptoms. It has been difficult for me to differentiate between RAD/attachment motivated behaviors, and FASD driven behaviors. One is purposeful, in order to gain control (RAD), while the other is because the world is perceived and processed in an entirely different way than the neurotypical person (FASD). Many times (most?) with FASD it isn't that they WON'T do something, but rather that they CAN'T. What often looks like rebellion to someone watching some of my kids is their way of saying, "Wait. I don't understand what you want me to do, and I don't know how to do it." They just would never actually SAY that, so their behavior speaks for them. -- And no, this is NOT an excuse to get away with behaving poorly! They don't get away with that, but I do often word things so that I know they understand, and start the project with them, actually helping them to get started, because they can not do this themselves.
There's something about RAD that you can recognize (often), whereas with FASD I still don't get it, exactly, but I know that if I give a direction, "Hang up your coat", I have to stop what I'm doing and make it happen because between my saying to 'hang up your coat' and their hearing is a gap, and then there's a gap between them understanding that they need to hang up their coat and actually doing it. So it takes lots of direct supervision. :D