Need help in staying calm with aggression

It is so hard to remember/do all the "parenting book advice" type stuff when you are frustrated. So many times I have yelled at my daughter out of desperation, made the situation a hundred times worse. Then when all is said and done realized "oh I could have tried this... I bet it would have worked. We all have those woulda, coulda, shoulda moments. When P is being aggressive is it possible for you to physically get away from her? If you could go into the bathroom or your bedroom to have a couple minutes to yourself (bring the baby), take some deep breaths, remind yourself that "this too shall pass". Some of the cuckoo things I do to stay calm 1. Brush my teeth 2. Count how many seconds it takes me to drink glass of water. 3. Boat race (from my college days) a glass of diet coke and pretend it is beer. 4. Say the Greek alphabet in my head as fast as I can. 5. Go to my room, turn on the radio and crazy dance. 6. Turn up the radio in the car (not eardrum shattering but loud enough to drown out the screaming in the backseat. 7. I had to edit because I forgot to mention my secret stash of hershey kisses and a butterfinger big bar ( for my really desperate times) Try one, I hope it helps.