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I believe in consequences along with unconditional love. If this child were to get caught as an adult doing something like this the day before her birthday, her birthday wouldn't be great. People do spend many birthdays behind bars. Maybe this b-day should be a little different. Maybe a quiet b-day at home with cake but no fanfare. Kids need to learn consequences at an early age regardless of what has happened to them. We can understand why she did it but it still is unexceptable. You are right feeling that this day should be different. You wouldn't want her to be rewarded for doing something so deliberate and planned.