Thank you all once again for your responses and support.
The day went fine. My family was all here and so I got to pretty much do my own thing while one or another of my family members focused on her.
The best I can do is keep on keeping on. 12 more days and she will be moving. I hate how much I am looking forward to that. This foster care journey has opened my eyes to many things in the world that I wish I had remained ignorant of; and this unforgiving place in myself is definately one of them. Again, thank you for your support during this difficult day.
I completely understand. Our fd has been totally out of control lately. She pees her bed on purpose, tantrums on purpose (as soon as another person enters the situation other than me and my husband, she stops the crying, screaming, growling, everything), she purposely damages our property, and this week I got kicked in the stomach.
Tomorrow is her birthday. We were going to have a party in a few weeks but we canceled it. We're just having cake and some presents here at home. It will still be a special day, but she has got to realize her behavior has consequences.
I really get keeping the party though too. Sometimes it's just easier.
I hear the hurt in your 'voice' when you say you hate that you're looking forward to the day she isn't there. We have 3 months left. Hang in there. I am hopeful that not all placements will be this tough.