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I know your FS is very young but I think it's ok for these kids who do these things (either foster kids, adopted kids, bio kids or relative kids...ANY kids) to see that when they do "wrong or naughty or outright mean" things that we are mad and angry, hiding it from them doesnt let them see that part of the consequences.
JMHO. I think it's healthy for a kid to see the disapointment and anger (appropriate) when they do things like that, we are modeling for them and it's normal to be angry and upset in some situations.
It's sure hard to know what is the right way to go sometimes. Easy for me today though cuz right now I'm on this side of the screen. You both hang in there with these little ones and best of luck for a good day after all!
(((hugs)))
teacher1998
Deb, don't beat yourself up. I get what you are going through. I don't know what's worse, the feelings of anger towards the child, or the guilt we have feeling that way. Our 2yr. FS had a serious "event" during the night that involved destruction of property (much less serious than harming pet) and today I am struggling with it. Outwardly I am smiling and doing the things an adoring mother would do, but I don't "feel" it, not today. I just can't help it.