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We are currently in the waiting pool for domestic adoption. I was wondering what states would be the best for us to adopt from. Does anyone know what states will allow me and my partner to adopt together even though we wouldn't have residence there?
Also which are the most LGBT friendly states?
MA is wonderful from an LGBT perspective.
i was out in my paperwork. Heck! When I lectured my AW about how he better not descriminate, i found out he was gay. lol
Not sure how many out of state adoptions that do, but i'd highly recommend them
here's a list of state by state laws
[url=http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayparentingadoption/a/gaycoupleadopt.htm]Gay Adoption: Where is Gay Adoption Legal?[/url]
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We investigated a CA agency that said they even flew in gay couples who had a temporary local residence for a few weeks, did their home study, adopted, and flew home with the baby. I assume that in some states they moved back to, the second parent wouldn't be a legal parent though.
(We are a straight married couple but we had some complicated residency issues, so this was an example of how they might solve them for us).
Sorry for seeming "dense", but I checked out the link posted by wcurry66, and I do not understand the difference between "joint adoption" and "second parent adoption"? I, too am looking into adopting with my DP, and this separation of terms does not make any sense to me...
Joint adoption is when two adults adopt a child together.. Basically what a str8, married couple does.
Whereas a second parent adoption is where one person is the parent, then adds their partner as a second parent. its a subtle difference, to be sure.
see [url=http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/families/g/SPAdoption.htm]Second Parent Adoption[/url]
with a joint adoption, each parent is on equal footing, legally speaking. Its the ideal, but it not legal in every state
eta a better link: [url]http://www.familyequality.org/pdf/secondparent_withcitations.pdf[/url]
they equate second parent to step parent adoptions, which make sense.
States are important, but so are agencies. My little gut was born in Texas, which I (in my stereotyes) would not have predicted to be particularly friendly, but my agency was VERY LGBT friendly. I'm single, so it was a bit different, but I was very open about my sexuality
(the first thing I said to every agency I interviewed was "I'm a single Jewish lesbian, how do you feel about working with me?"). If you are interested in a recommendation feel free to pm me. But don't limit yourself based on perceptions of unfriendliness as long as the laws let you adopt, check out agencies.
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My partner and I live in Indiana and are looking to adopt as well. I know that Indiana allows joint petitions from same-sex couples. The Human Rights Campaign has a break down of which states allow single gay adoptions and which allow joint gay adoptions. Good luck! :)
ruth74
States are important, but so are agencies. My little gut was born in Texas, which I (in my stereotyes) would not have predicted to be particularly friendly, but my agency was VERY LGBT friendly. I'm single, so it was a bit different, but I was very open about my sexuality
(the first thing I said to every agency I interviewed was "I'm a single Jewish lesbian, how do you feel about working with me?"). If you are interested in a recommendation feel free to pm me. But don't limit yourself based on perceptions of unfriendliness as long as the laws let you adopt, check out agencies.
We're a male couple who also adopted our kids from TX (one in 2008, the other 2 years later). Have to say, we were stunned to find such a gay-friendly agency down there (had the same perceptions about the state), but our experiences have only been good ones.
It's even more subtle, in some cases, than state law. MD, where we finalized both adoptions, is more gay-friendly in some counties, and in those counties, there are known jurisdictions that are even more gay-friendly, depending on the judge who is presiding. So, my advice would be to find the best state, then find an attorney who knows the lay of the land. It's a difficult task that may be somewhat out of your hands, unfortunately.
Does your agency only take on emoms in the state in which it is located? How will you be able to look elsewhere if you are signed up with them? Just curious.
Most of the agencies in California are very LGBT-friendly. I am friends with several gay and lesbian couples who experienced no discrimination at all when they were going through the adoption process here in the Golden State.
It's even easier if the gay couple is registered with the State as domestic partners. Both names are placed on the amended birth certificate, and both partners have full legal protection as parents here.
Good luck on your journey...
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My partner and I adopted a child that we fostered as a open lesbian couple in MN. We got her at birth, and the agency kept fighting for us to be able to keep her/adopt her while the judge kept trying to put her back in with the birth parents (meth-addicts). The birth parents' rights were finally terminated, and there was no question that we could adopt her. The judge didn't even question our relationship.
However, now that the republicans have taken over the senate and house here, they are trying to pass marriage amendments, etc. So, we are actually preparing and looking for a new state should they pass an amendment prohibiting same sex marriage (already lost domestic partner rights for state employees under the previous republican governor). So, while I'd love to say that MN is a good state for it, it may turn out to not be.
If anyone can recommend a gay/lesbian-friendly state/community for a couple with children (2), we'd love to hear from you.
As to you gentlemen, we are in Red Wing, MN. The foster parenting folks were awesome! We were not treated in anyway differently than any other couple. No one had any problem with our relationship. If you want to contact the agency, let me know and I'll get you the contact info.
Good luck on your journey!
Kris
my partner and I adopted our daughter as a straight adoption from foster care in NJ (we live in Md). The adoption took place in NJ and was a joint adoption by both of us.
we had no issues at all either from our agency in Md or the foster care system in NJ.
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