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My heart goes out to you- hang in there. I hope you find your bio-family and find there is love out there for you.
My birthdaughter was given up for adoption when our lives were in shambles and I was very sick. We thought putting her up for adoption was the best thing for her as we did not know we would be fully healed. Years passed and we are fully healed and are a close knit family.
Her adoptive family lied about the open adoption and denied any information or contact very soon after the adoption. We have always kept tabs on her and her adoptive family is a mess. She is a minor and we have had contact. She wants all or nothing. Either move in with us or wait till she is 18 so she can leave her adoptive family forever. She is not emotionally strong enough to go through the trauma of us trying to appeal to them to let her at least visit. She fears their anger and due to our state laws we cannot do anything about it. She has no contact with her a-mom (verbally abusive and I fear worse since she does not have visitation) and fears angering her a-dad. He is not abusive to her- just not very involved which is not against the law.
As a b-mom I can assure you that emotional abuse is not your fault and not what your bio-mom wanted. She wanted you to have more then she could give you.
My bio-daughter is already at risk to be involved in bad things because she is barely supervised and miserable. She may not be the high achieving and loving child that her siblings are. We don't care. When she can and chooses to have a relationship with us we are there no matter what condition she presents. We love her no matter what. And there is so much guilt that we gave her to unstable people who did not give her much more then the basics. Please hang in there and see what the future holds for you.