Does anyone know how to relinquish a child you adopted from the Ukraine?

I agree 100% about the parent splitting behavior. I watched my adopted brother do that extensively. It is normal teen behavior magnified significantly! No different than I have to do at work with Psychiatric patients who staff split. My brother did/is closely bonded with my father (my dad is the bio fathers brother so there is a resemblance as well)...no using or faking. And has never fully trusted (although I believe he wants to), my mother. She was his target. History is his mother abused him and his father was an alcoholic who was always in too much of a stupor to have a clue what was going on. My brother did not see him as the threat. What worked for my parents is to learn to identify and head off the parent splitting behavior. This required total commitment and consistancy on their part. Second was the respite care. Because they adopted him out of the system here they did have help with respite. But they also found other things that my brother looked forward to and his life was richer and more balanced. Things such as summer camp for troubled youth..my parents planned financially for this all year. These respite times throughout the year gave us time to reconnect as a family, take stress free vacations etc... Sounds kind of selfish I guess, but this is a big job to take on and there is no sense in being a marter (sp?). That helps nobody. The idea of a theraputic foster home is fantastic. I have friends (both Psychiatric nurses) who do this and they do a wonderful job. If a child were sick physically resources would be found. This is just a different kind of sick. As you can probably tell...I am a mental health advocate:). And lastly, and probably the hardest for my mother, was to lower expectations regarding what her relationship was to be with my brother. This was so difficult for her. She loved him, and had been part of the family trying to get social services involved for years to help these kids. By the time they were finally abandoned, my brother was so messed up. So, they all just did the best they could.