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I jst placed my baby girl 3 months ago... I am a mother of 2... my son I am parenting but my babys have different dads... I feel lyk a bad mom sometimes and I think she will hate me if she ever meets me because how can I raise my first born son but not keep her... Im only 20 yrs old and on welfare... her dad has 2 other kids and keeping her would leave her with out a father because he has a family and wanted her to go away I lied to him and said I aborted but whn I got 2 the clinic I just couldn't do it... I gave her to a same sex couple 2 dads for her... I jst got my first set of pictures and she looks happy and so do they yet I'm stuck in this pit of uncertainty because how do I explain keeping her brother but giving her away?
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You explain it just the way you have in the post. That if circumstances were different your decision would've been different. This will be extremely difficult for her and you will have to come to terms with the fact that she may never fully understand. Also - you didn't 'give her away', you placed her for adoption. You didn't give up your right to have a relationship with her in the future. The best you can do is live a good life that she will be proud of and hope for the best.
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I think she will come to understand with time that you saw your struggles with one child and knew there was no way you can give her all that she deserves. I think she will be grateful for the life that you gave her as she will have two parents and a safe stable home. I really believe that she will not feel hurt or unloved or resent that she was adopted as she will know just how much you truly care that you gave her an amazing gift. You did what you had to, to provide her with the life you can't give her. If you didn't love her you wouldn't have made the heart wrenching choice of placing her for adoption.
I am an adootee and also 38 weeks pregnant and planning on placing for adoption. Being adopted I understand that side of thibgs and honestly I know what my birth mother did was the right thing she had A LOT of other children before me and had some other issues as well but I had a wonderful family growing up sure it wasn't perfect but I was blessed to have the life I did growing up. I never once thought I hated my birth mom I always understood why she did what she did and am thankful for her doing that for me and giving me a good life. It's also up to the parents to let her know that she is loved by all and to share with her the reasons why you placed. I'm just starting my journey through placing as well and I know iv had these same feelings as well but then I remember how I thought of things growing up and how much I trust the PAPs to share her story ,our story, so that she will see how much we all have for her. Good luck on your journey. Thank you for sharing your story as well.