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[url=http://www.child-adoption-matters.com/reasons-to-adopt-a-child.html]Reasons to Adopt a Child[/url]
I copied and pasted this right from the page above.
Contrary to what you or many others may believe, there are right and WRONG reasons to adopt a child. It is easy to identify all the reasons why you may WANT to adopt an infant or child.
Especially if you and your spouse have a deep desire to raising and loving an adoptive child as if they were your own. Then yes, of course you should go ahead with your decision.
But, there are often times when a couple's reasons for adopting a child are all wrong. For many, it is difficult to accept that deep down you could possibly even be thinking in this manner.
Does this make sense? If not, allow me to explain by giving you some examples of some of the wrong reasons to adopt a child before you make your final decision.
1. The Celebrities Are Doing It
Just because Madonna, Angelina Jolie, and Sharon Stone are doing it, doesnt mean you should just to be fashionable. Regardless of the lifestyle you can afford to offer the child, this would be a shallow reason for adopting them and will only end up hurting them. Remember, you are adopting a child here, not an object!
2. It Might Help to Save Your Marriage
You may think that one of the best reasons to adopt a child would also help save your marriage. You feel that a child will help to bring you and your spouse closer together. Wrong! This couldnҒt be further from the truth.
What you need to do is get to the root of your problem. Then solve it in a practical and logical way. Do not use a child for your personal gain, INSTEAD LOVE THEM the way they deserve.
3. You Wont Feel Lonely Anymore
Sorry, but unfortunately, loneliness is a feeling you have probably brought upon yourself. Sure, the loneliness would at least go away temporarily if you were to adopt, but when the loneliness returns, and it will, this condition could have a negative effect on your adopted child.
4. Your Biological Clock is Ticking and Adoption is the Answer
YouҒre in your mid-thirties, still single and you dont want to die alone. You are afraid that if you wait too much longer you just may not be able to have your own children. So you decide that adopting a child is the way to go.
Though this is not technically wrong, you will need to be sure that you are ready for the rigors of parenthood. Life is not always a bed of roses!
5. You Will Have a Heir
Definitely not one of the better reasons to adopt a child, since you will likely just treat your adopted son as an apprentice and be stricter than you intended. That is simply unfair to the child.
6. ItҒs All About What YOU Want
You will want to be sure right from the beginning that the adoption is something that both you and your spouse want. If this is not the case, things could become complicated between the two of you and this would prevent you from giving your adopted child the life they deserve.
7. If You Adopt a Child They Will Replace the One Youve Lost
It would be so wrong to adopt a child only to replace one that you have lost. You will likely only end up comparing them, the adopted child will not measure up to the deceased child and so they will grow up lacking confidence and self-esteem.
In this type of situation, you are better off to do all the grieving you need to do and then accept reality. When you are ready to move on and make a new start in life, then you can choose to adopt a child.
Your decision to adopt a child is never an easy process. But for the child who is being adopted it is even more difficult, remember, they do not have the maturity yet to cope with the life in which they were born.
So think long and hard about your decision to adopt so that no one will end up getting hurt.
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I didn't write the article above but these are Little Wander's right reasons to adopt:
1. You plan to tell the child she is adopted
2. you will always treat this child as well as your bio children (if applicable)
3. you agree to an open adoption and intend to honor that agreement and obtain their OBC for them
4. You allow your children to seek out their birth families and support them understanding it isn't a loyalty or love issue just plain old curiosity. You would too.
5. Address that you can't "love" their loss away and make the issue of adoption something that is OK to talk about.
6. Understand their heritage is not your heritage. Most adoptees take a mix of both to build their id's with.
7. You love kids and love being a mom/dad and would honestly risk your life to protect them just like if they were born to you.
8. Understand there is a stigma surrounding adoption from horrible practices of the past. Others will question your family bonds and judge you for being infertile. Adoptees are viewed as less adjusted.
9. Honor the Birthmother always and don't tell the whole world your kid is adopted unless you are asked.
10. When you go to the doctor remember their medical history is not your medical history.
I fully support adoption from foster care and it is free. Everyone wants a kitten no one wants a cat, there are plenty of siblings and older kids and with love and help they can be just as loyal and loving as if you had them from birth.
littlewanderer
4. Your Biological Clock is Ticking and Adoption is the Answer
Youre in your mid-thirties, still single and you donҒt want to die alone. You are afraid that if you wait too much longer you just may not be able to have your own children. So you decide that adopting a child is the way to go.
Though this is not technically wrong, you will need to be sure that you are ready for the rigors of parenthood. Life is not always a bed of roses!
I had to giggle out loud at this one. I'm one of those single early 30s that adopted....however, if I were to think that I wouldn't die alone, that's still up in the air....what if my child (knock on wood because I would be beyond devastated) dies before I do, what if my child has a job outside of the country and can't get back before I die, that is so not a guarantee :)
I live down the street from my parents and I wanted my father to be a "youngish" active male role model in our lives.
While I have a lot of information....identifying information (benefits of foster/adoption, unfortunately my daughter's parents have disappeared and don't even have an internet footprint....I wish I had more, even though I know I have way more information than it seems a lot of Adoptees from these boards have)
Sorry, but I don't want 2 threads on the same topic. Regardless of re-wording it or giving it a slightly different slant, it's the same as the other one.
You should copy & paste the post you made on what you feel are the right reasons to adopt & post them to your original thread. That can continue the discussion of the topic & get it back on track if that's what you are after.
I'll be closing this one.
Thanks for understanding!
Crick
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