Waiting for the light.........

I am at the brink of a complete emotional breakdown... help for myself is a joke because I'm too busy tending to the needs of my 10 yr old AS who has ODD, ADHD, RAD, PICA, and a number of other diagnosis. He and his sister age 12 have put us through hell with CPS investigations for Physical and Sexual abuse allegations... no one in my family understands what we're feeling. I feel like my husband sometimes is too hopeful and has probably bonded with the children more than I have. In 2008 we finalized the adoption and I lost both my parents, which was devastating but as with everything else... it meant I had to mourn/grieve and move on quickly because their behavior issues continued. They've admitted that they do things to make it difficult on us and my daughter has even gone so far as to saying that she accused my husband of sexual abuse as a way of "teaching me a lesson". I've cried out to both states involved in the placement and adoption but both ignore my plees. I don't know what to do anymore and feel as if we are the ones being abused, neglected, and exploited. There is no question that they've endured a lot to make them this way, but instead of getting support from family and friends I get dirty looks, blamed and have even been told that I feel this way because they aren't my biological children. It's never been a question of loving them, it's a matter of surviviing them and it's a horrible way of looking at something that should have brought us so much joy.